Saturday, August 16, 2025

     I think often of Fentanyl, a medication used to stop pain during my 6 surgeries in the last 4 years.   Fentanyl is also is a dangerous killing street drug. A medication for cancer treatment and a lethal street drug.  Two worlds, two groups of people who are hiding from each other.

     I can’t tell if I am getting better or I am dying. I walk to my mail box on Friday, walking slowly with my cane.  I do it. I am getting better during the day but at night I wonder if I am dying.

     I read Martin Cruz Smith last novel, HOTEL UKRAINE. His last book, he says, because he is ill with Parkinson’s disease. It took only one day to read it, a fast read about the Russian war with Ukraine.

     I start doing chair exercises while I sit outside in the fog.  Moving my arms and legs and body. Lots of bird activity in the bushes and trees. My daughter’s many plants are on the patio and deck. In the evening, I watch a bit of news and then search for a good TV series before I return to reading books.