Thursday, March 5, 2026

     57 degrees in my bedroom as I eat my breakfast. But in the kitchen, it is 70 degrees as the sun warms the room. I turn on the heater for a short time and then turn it off.  I could eat my breakfast in the warm kitchen but I don’t.  I sit in my blue recliner with a warm blanket.

     Two of my favorite women friends visit during the day.  Long warm conversations. As usual I talk too much. The visits make me happy.

          Not surprisingly past events keep popping up in my mind. These loose memories pods keep floating in my mind. I remember a women’s clothing store a friend and I created for several years.  It was a huge failure. My focus was on the business, economic side and my friend did the buying and daily management. I am bad with fashion and she was terrible with money. For years after the store closed, I made monthly payments to various vendors.

     We watch another tense episode of TEHRAN.  The Newshour reports are calmer than the TEHRAN series. The devastating war is real and the dramatic show is not. I am now reading two detective stories. Ann Cleeves novel, THE KILLING STONES, set in present day Orkney Island and Amy Stewart novel, MISS KOPP’S MIDNGHT CONFESSIONS is set in World War 1 west coast America.

 

Wednesday, March 4, 2026

     I am not going to my good friend Patricia Merrifield’s memorial mass on Saturday morning.  Too many people, too long of a drive, no, no, no. I don’t want her dead. And yet, I text the tall man to come with me to the memorial. He says yes. Brings tears to my eyes. I thought I would be the first to die among my writing friends.

     Cool cloudy morning. The heater on for a short time to take off the chill. I have a short list of tasks.  The top item is to complete my income tax forms and mail them in. I suspect this will stay on my list for a long time. Each year I put it off until the last day. Perhaps I can change that pattern.

     Parts of my house continue to be invisible to me.  Cupboards and drawers filled and unopened for years. My linen shelves are packed with unused stuff. Maybe I can make a map of ignored parts of my home.

     We watch the last two episodes of LINCOLN LAWYER, Great ending. Now we will concentrate on TEHRAN unless we find something better. I am reading the third volume of Amy Stewart’s mystery series, MISS KOPP’S MIDNIGHT CONFESSIONS.   I watch the MS NOW news a couple of times a day to witness the bombs and scared people in the Middle East. It is helpful to watch various reporters and experts talk about the causes and conditions of this war.

 

Tuesday, March 3, 2026

     Hard to concentrate while watching the war spread in the Middle East.  Hard to wonder what we could have done to stop it. Hard to know how to be safe. Monterey is a vulnerable military town   Hard to stop catastrophizing the events. It is not just about me.

      It is beautiful day this morning, flowers, dogs barking, fog, heater working, friendly faces. I want to be present for my life today. The potatoes are in the ground. Today I want to be kind to everyone.

     THE LONELINESS OF SONIA AND SUNNY has a good ending and I can close the 800 page book now.

     At the recommendation of the tall Man, we start watching the Israeli thriller, TEHRAN. The first episode is quite compelling. Third day in a row of eating pizza.  I am ready for other foods now. We can focus our anxiety on these TV characters.