Wednesday, May 13, 2026

     I wake up at 9am this morning, really 10 hours of sleep. Of course, a few times up for bathroom visits. When my eyes finally open, I am rested and ready. My legs are stiff, my whole body is stiff. Brewing coffee, fixing my breakfast loosens up the old body and I am ready for the day. 

     An old talented friend comes by for an infrequent visit. She is still working and busy.  And we can’t stop talking, sharing our lives, our families, our medical experiences and our joys. I tell her the secrets of some over the counter medicines, and what I have learned about incontinent supplies. I am an expert.

     Outside the living room window, the old oak tree branches are swaying in the breezes. Old tired dark green leaves draped with long, stringy lichen.  Where are the new light green leaves. Yesterday I saw a squirrel hanging on a floppy bottle bush branch. This tree is bursting with red flowers, perfect for humming birds and small song birds. But squirrels, no.

     I am obsessed with the reviews of the SHEEP DETECTIVES. I know it is playing in theaters locally. Going to a movie theater is not possible for me so I just have to wait until June to see it on my TV. Sigh. And maybe the anticipation is actually more exciting than the actual movie.  Political news is terrible and yet I can’t quite put it all aside.

 

 Tuesday, May 12, 2026   

     It is a job that needs to be done.  Dragging the bins to the street Monday afternoon for Tuesday pickups. My roommate has taken on this job and I watch, feeling like I am not helping enough. This time I pull two of the bins to the street balancing my cane on the lids. It is a slow process but I can do it. The third yard waste bin is beyond my ability.

     The gophers may be winning the race to eat the new potatoes. My roommate farmer is fighting the good battle. Those pesky gophers, mostly hidden from sight never seem to give up. Our next potato patch will be protected.

     My mail in ballot is sitting by my recliner.  Almost time to vote. I am holding out for more information about the front runners. I am not sure what information will sway me this time. I am open to surprise.

     I watch several episodes of THE OTHER SISTER on apple+. I keep watching but I am not sure I like it. I eat half a box of candy that leaves me sugar stunned.  What am I thinking. The sweetness is so compelling and devastating to my body. Earlier I am reading the latest book in the slow horses series, CLOWN TOWN by Mick Herron. Hard to figure out the plot when my body is struggling with all that candy.

 

Monday, May 11, 2026

     I am obsessed with sheep, or maybe the idea of sheep. I haven’t really seen sheep except maybe at the local fair’s livestock pavilion.  I watch videos of sheep being herded by racing dogs, through gates across meadows.  I am reading THE SALT STONES, a memoir of a young woman becoming a shepherd in New England. Is it too late to look for sheep in Monterey County.

     I know how my friends look, their body language, clothes, mannerism, voice.  I am mostly invisible to myself.  I know my hands and feet.  I see out my eyes, maybe a glimpse of my nose but mostly I am invisible to myself. My voice resonates through my head.  I feel my body. Looking in a mirror sometimes helps.

      In the foggy cold afternoon, we watch a wonderful film on Netflix, REMARKABLE BIGHT CREATURES. The story has such a happy ending.

     We share stories of our bodies and our experiences in the medical world. We wonder why doctors ignore us when we talk about pain. The college student poet packs up and leaves by noon to return to school.