Saturday, October 10, 2026

     It is true, if I am very tired, too tired at bedtime I can’t fall asleep.  I need to be rested to sleep well. a paradox. Friday is a full exciting day and I struggle with falling asleep. Being with the gang at Brown Bag Zen is exciting. I come home and lay on the couch for the usual daytime nap.  I can not fall asleep. This morning, I am good.

      We talk about the high price of gas for the car.  Fortunately, I only need gas twice a year. I live mostly at home. Being old and tired has its compensations.

     Fog hung around all day and in the evening, I thought of turning on the heater.  Instead, I put on warmer clothes. I tell the heater, soon, soon I will need your help.

     In the evening, my roommate and I watch more of LUDWIG and LANTERN. A satisfying combination. We are tired and not talkative. Tonight, I am looking forward to watching Rachel Maddow and her gang in Texas. Starts at 5 pacific time. On MS NOW. I am patiently waiting for the legal consequences for the President’s corrupt team. I support jail terms. It is voting time.

 

Friday, October 9, 2026

     Today is the talk at Brown Bag Zen.  So yesterday my busy mind keeps finding stories to tell. It is only a 15 minute talk, but most of the day I am trying out different themes. I am leaning towards talking about my three month Tassajara retreat in 1995. I remind myself the most interesting talks are not overly rehearsed. Yes I am nervous.

     Lots of little birds in the Bottle Bush trees this morning. I wonder when they will discover the berry tree. Maybe the berries aren’t ripe enough.  Hard for me to tell.  They are bright red and are thick in the bush.

     My friend does a library run for me. Still, I have too many books I can’t possibly read. My desire for books is becoming untenable. These are books put on hold by me. I wonder if it is related to the uncertainty of living with cancer treatments.  I have more control over library books then with cancer treatments.

     My roommate is busy working on her computer and cell phone while I am reading books. In the evening, we watch another funny episode of THE DAILY SHOW, this time with Gorden Klepper. And then we watch an episode of LANTERN. This show has turned very violent and difficult to watch.  My favorite show is season two of LUDWIG. I like watching the news of the corrupt president’s failures in court cases. Good legal news is with Ari Melbur on MS NOW, THE BEAT, 

 

Thursday, October 8, 2026

     My friend calls me early this morning asking if I would be willing to talk at Brown Bag Zen tomorrow, Friday, at noon. The scheduled speaker is suddenly not available. Within minutes I say yes. I am ready. I check my body and it is functioning pretty well. I can do this. Last week I could not but this week I can.

     The nurse squeezes water into my ear again this week and more wax comes out. She looks into the ear and proclaims my ear drums are now visible. Success at last.

     As hard as I try to be on time for appointments, it never works. I am always early. So, I spend time in waiting rooms. Yesterday I listen to three people talking on their cell phones, business calls. Complicated financial information being thrown about. They are careful to not let on where they are. Working at home is also working in the waiting room. I love it.

     Early morning fog and now the sun is out. Perfect fall day. I am back to reading THE ACCORDIONIST’S SON, a Basque novel by Bernardo Atxaga.  I am intrigued with this book and yet I keep putting aside. I am determined to finish it. In the evening, we watch another episode of SLOW HORSES and LUDWIG. I have collected all the information I need to vote and now I am ready to fill out the complicated ballot. I feel too good to write about the corrupt president today.