Wednesday, February 4, 2026  

     Warm sunny morning.  Walking out on the deck I see high school students walking between their class rooms.  Crows and sea gulls calling out. The potted rose bush has the first blossom. The geraniums have many blossoms. Yep signs of spring.

      When I see current family pictures, I see an old old woman who looks a bit bewildered.  I am not sure the image is the real me but there I am in the photographs. Time to update my mental image to something more realistic.

     In the evening, we watch the movie SING, SONG BLUE. I was reluctant. A wonderful film. It should win awards. I had forgotten Neil Diamonds music is. The music keeps laying in my head.

     I start reading the novel, THERE ARE RIVERS IN THE SKY, by Elif Shafak. Too early to tell if I will continue.  It is a long book. I can’t remember who recommended it.

 

Tuesday, February 3, 2026

    The images of the three doctors treating me keep popping up in my mind. I have many one sided conversations going on. I rehearse what I am going to say, what I need to say.  My actual live time with the doctor is limited so I have this make believe time going on in my mind.

     The TV series, THE PITT portrays real patients.  As they are waiting for the doctor, they are having these silent fantasy conversations.

     Gorgeous moon rising in the early evening. No fog to block the view. I watch the moon for a few minutes and then I am back to living in the curtained house. I wonder how many stunning beautiful experiences I am missing.

     I start reading AUDITION, a novel by Katie Kitamura, a truly starling story. I have no clue how it will end.

 

Monday, February 2, 2026

     The house is very cold in the morning. Heater clicks on. The day heats up and the heater is turned off.  I monitor the thermostat, a lifelong focus.  The doors are open to the warm afternoons.   In the late afternoon I close up the house. And if we are too cold, I turn the heater back on.  All to get my PG&E bill manageable.

     The tall man, the East coast photographer and my roommate meet in the afternoon to plan cleaning out the decades of stuff stored in the basement rooms. It just happened year after year. I can no longer be much help. I cheer them on with their daunting task. I keep my comments to myself to not break their resolve.

     We watch NUREMBERG, the movie in the evening. A fresh look at the Nazi trials. Well done and evocative of our current political situation. 

     I talk to my personal librarian on the phone.  She is recovering from a vacation trip to the Galapagos islands, a trip that turned disastrous.  She spent days in an Ecuadorian hospital recovering from a heart incident. I haven’t yet heard the whole story but she is getting well at home now. Traveling seems scary to me.