Tuesday, May 12, 2026   

     It is a job that needs to be done.  Dragging the bins to the street Monday afternoon for Tuesday pickups. My roommate has taken on this job and I watch, feeling like I am not helping enough. This time I pull two of the bins to the street balancing my cane on the lids. It is a slow process but I can do it. The third yard waste bin is beyond my ability.

     The gophers may be winning the race to eat the new potatoes. My roommate farmer is fighting the good battle. Those pesky gophers, mostly hidden from sight never seem to give up. Our next potato patch will be protected.

     My mail in ballot is sitting by my recliner.  Almost time to vote. I am holding out for more information about the front runners. I am not sure what information will sway me this time. I am open to surprise.

     I watch several episodes of THE OTHER SISTER on apple+. I keep watching but I am not sure I like it. I eat half a box of candy that leaves me sugar stunned.  What am I thinking. The sweetness is so compelling and devastating to my body. Earlier I am reading the latest book in the slow horses series, CLOWN TOWN by Mick Herron. Hard to figure out the plot when my body is struggling with all that candy.

 

Monday, May 11, 2026

     I am obsessed with sheep, or maybe the idea of sheep. I haven’t really seen sheep except maybe at the local fair’s livestock pavilion.  I watch videos of sheep being herded by racing dogs, through gates across meadows.  I am reading THE SALT STONES, a memoir of a young woman becoming a shepherd in New England. Is it too late to look for sheep in Monterey County.

     I know how my friends look, their body language, clothes, mannerism, voice.  I am mostly invisible to myself.  I know my hands and feet.  I see out my eyes, maybe a glimpse of my nose but mostly I am invisible to myself. My voice resonates through my head.  I feel my body. Looking in a mirror sometimes helps.

      In the foggy cold afternoon, we watch a wonderful film on Netflix, REMARKABLE BIGHT CREATURES. The story has such a happy ending.

     We share stories of our bodies and our experiences in the medical world. We wonder why doctors ignore us when we talk about pain. The college student poet packs up and leaves by noon to return to school.

 

Sunday, May 10, 2026

     My ASUS computer and I are aging in place. We are each slowing down. Some of the computer keys are broken, and grimy, my hands are winkled and bruised. But we know each other, no more secrets.  I resist a haircut and taking a shower, and the computer resists upgrades and cleaning. Together we are a committed couple.

     The tall man and I eat breakfast at Denny’s mid-morning. Mother’s Day, my choice. The place is crowded. We get the last booth. We park across the street and once again I face my fear of curbs. I am so afraid of falling. Holding on to a slender street tree I take the step.

     I am intrigued by a new film review of the movie, THE SHEEP DETECTIVES. The sheep, with human voices, solve murders. Should be out in late June. I am excited.

    An unexpected overnight visit with the college student poet. We introduce her to the series, MARGO NEEDS MONEY on Apple +. The three of us can’t stop laughing as we watch several episodes.   None of us want to watch the news shows.