Saturday, May 24, 2025  

     I spend an hour and a half at the Urology office mostly by myself in a windowless treatment room. I wish for a deck of cards to play solitaire. The Urologist and the Physician Assistant listen to my concerns and then explain their thinking of what is needed.  I tell them my limits. We agree to a striped down biopsy surgery. a TURBT. We decide they can make it work without pain for me. No stents and a ten minute limit on the blue light infusion, not the usual 60 minutes. After the Urologist leaves the room, the Physician Assistant says he is impressed I was able to stick up for myself in this negotiation.

      Later my kids remind me that most people play games on their smart phones.  They don’t need cards. Not me, the screens are too small. While waiting I make sketches of medical equipment in my notebook

     I am quite moved with the Urologist caring enough to spend the time talking and listening to me. My trust with the medical world is growing.

     I am restless all afternoon and evening mulling over what happened. I expected a fight, an argument. I tell my daughter I want a good deck of cards for my birthday in June.