Monday, May 19, 2025

     The sun is warm outside this early morning but it is still 59 degrees in my bedroom. I am dressed for wintertime. After days of grief and anguish, I have found some clarity. This is my fifth year of cancer and cancer treatments and I am still alive and functioning. So much to be grateful for as I prepare to meet with my doctors this week.

     The three young hip adults visit in the late afternoon. We talk and then I recommend a series I have loved, LUDWIG on Britbox. They don’t watch TV, so I insist we watch the first episode immediately.  I admit I am sort of bossy. We watch, they laugh and laugh at this wonderful show. I want them to realize I am a smart old lady. When I was young, I didn’t understand that old people could be interesting and alive.

     I continue to read Geoff Dyer’s THE MISSING OF THE SOMME, a slow deep book. On one page he reports on the executed army deserters who are now considered heroes. They chose not to kill the Germans. Memorials are set up to honor these men who had been traitors.

     In spite of the mental turmoil this weekend, I continue to do my physical Therapy prescribed exercises. Walking, strengthening my legs and improving my balance.