Friday, May 16, 2025

     I am going to Brown Bag Zen today at noon.  I will be giving the talk which is both daunting and easy.  A ten minute talk about my struggles. Maybe 15 minutes.  I definitely will bring my support chicken in case I need help.

      My main struggle is figuring out my current life.  Am I sick or well, and why do I have monthly chemo treatments. I am awake for hours in the dark fussing with this talk.  Maybe that is the struggle, wanting to talk honestly and interestingly. I want to be liked. I want to be funny and kind, so what to do with the unfunny and unkind parts of my life.

     I have long rewarding conversations with two friends yesterday. We sit in the living room and talk.

     I start a netflix film called NONNAS, a silly film about an Italian restaurant run by old Italian women. I watch half last night and will watch the rest this weekend.