Monday, April 15, 2024

     I woke up this morning thinking I want a vacation from my life.  I repeat the same activities each day.  I worry about medical issues, order food from Instacart, Leave the kitchen clean each night, pick up clothes from the floor.  I remember that Mondays are garbage day.  I water plants. I read books, watch news, take naps, talk on the phone. I want a vacation from my present life.

     The young poet is here for a week.  In the morning, we sit in the living room and share stories of our lives now. She is here to visit friends and get some rest before returning to Boston on Saturday. I wish I was going somewhere.

     I read a dozen pages in several books. The book that catches my interest is a thriller by Ben Winters, BIG TIME. An intense driven narrative that pulls me out of the doldrums.  I watch several episodes of the good medical series, THE RESIDENT. The doctors definitely have a more interesting lives then the poor patients.

     I keep a list of side effects of the immunotherapy and now chemotherapy treatments. None serious enough to need medication, but annoying, numb feet, tiredness, incontinence, sore hands, unsettledness in my body.  My body suspects it is being attacked and doesn’t know how to defend itself.