Wednesday, November 11, 2026

     Six years ago when I am 80 year old, I am diagnosed with a pulmonary embolism and sent by ambulance to Stanford hospital ICU unit. The ER doctor says I am too sick for the local hospital and I could die. I am by myself in the ambulance with three ambulance guys. I am strapped on a gurney in the back with the nurse and an unreliable IV drip. Everyone wears masks (COVID time}. The trip is long and bumpy and loud. None of my family can come with me because of the epidemic.

     Tuesday afternoon we watch the crashing waves on the rocks. We drive around and talk and then stop for ice cream at the shack shop. Driving back to Monterey through Pacific Grove and over the hill I suddenly feel panicked. I am terrified We are going to have an accident and die. Too many cars are too close, we are driving too fast, everything is dangerous. I keep my eyes closed and try to be calm.

    I now realize this is a flashback to the long ambulance ride six years ago. Of course, I scare my roommate who is driving. I scare myself. I am so grateful for her kindness while driving me home safely.

     I continue to read A MAP OF FUTURE RUINS by Lauren Markham. Her family story of immigration and borders reminds me of my grandfather’s move from Italy to Arizona. In the evening we watch Monday night’s Jon Stewart on THE DAILY SHOW. He is so clever and funny. Of course Jon Stewart’s humor is a tonic for our political times.