Tuesday, June 16, 2026

     I show up to my doctor’s appointment with a list of three minor issues. And of course, the doctor is friendly and kind. What more do I want. He dismisses my three items.  I leave feeling he had not listened to me. He is having an off day. And my concerns are not major. I have failed some test that is hidden from me.

     Going to the doctor’s office is fraught with my expectations. Being a good patient and appearing smart. He is seeing a dozen patients and I am just one of them. He was great when I had life threatening issues with bladder and kidney cancers. The drama is mostly over and now that I am complaining about farting and bladder stinging. My body issues are boring to me too.

     I spend my nap time lying on the couch wondering what I should do next. I want a more interesting life. Spending too much time worrying about doctor visits is a waste of time. I just don’t want to be that old woman sitting in the doctor’s waiting room. Time once again to accept the life I have.

     This morning, a flock of tiny birds move through the bottle bush trees. A hummingbird is fussing with a red blossom. The sky is foggy gray. I am wearing my green puffer jacket. The newspaper has more compelling pictures of David Hockney’s outrageously colorful work. I am smiling.