Monday, July 14, 2025

     Reading the NYTimes obituaries reminds me that living with cancer and cancer treatments is not so unusual. I think I am special but no, cancer is part of living and dying.  On my short street many neighbors are working with cancer. I am not the only one. And cancer is not a death sentence.  It is frequently a pause, a chance to slow down and experience a deeper way of living life.

     Tuesday, I go to the hospital for minor surgery. In my mind there is no minor surgery, there is just scary surgery. I have done this before. I will join a group of nervous patients waiting their turn to be called into the prep room and then surgery.  And after it is done, I will be in the recovery room and then wheeled out of the front door to my daughter’s waiting car. I know all this and still I struggle with fear and anxiety.

     We watch a new TV series BALLARD, a detective story based in Los Angeles. Well done and interesting. We take a break from CLARKSON’S FARM episodes.

     I return the last of the library books.  There is a stack of books in the library waiting to be picked up later in the week. I am focused on reading purchased books. I start reading the detective novel, THE FIELD BY Erin Young. I have piles of these unread books in the house.