Wednesday, July 10, 2024

     Lying in bed half awake, in the early morning, my mind searches for my future. Can I find it. This morning the future looks good for me.  And then I am fully awake and remember that the future is truly unknown.

     Yesterday for the first time, the medical reports appear on my cancer portal and I read them.  Written in the foreign medical language of doctors and nurses.  Mostly I understood what is being said. I think I understood. Wow no wonder I have been so disabled during these last years. Their medical experience is so different then my experience of waiting rooms, hospital beds, confusing pains, treatment tables, naps, bathrooms, fatigues.  We do live in different worlds. And yet, I am grateful for the help.

     My daughter arrives with a Mexican bowl lunch from our favorite place.  She brings conversations and experiences to talk about.  Later I receive a voice mail from the dermatologist, you do not have cancer on your face.  It is just a wart. He was sure that I had cancer at treatment time. Another win.

     This morning, I also remember a statistic class in grad school which now helps me evaluate the potential out comes of different treatments. Today is a good day.