I'm back from my vacation with family at Asilomar Conference Center. Lots of conversations, warm fires, walks on the beach, four generations of family. Now it is time to get back to my real life.

the sun is out. Front door open airing out the old cold stale air. Had lunch with a friend at California Kitchen at the shopping moll. We talked and ate. Now I am getting ready to go to Asilomar for the family reunion.

We ate a late morningbrunch at Rosine's this morning. Outside there were parking places, empty stores, few people but at Rosine's crowds of multigenerations of Monterey families were talking and eating. wiggly babies, music, Xmas decorations, old women with sons.

We got the last booth and surrounded ourselves with warm good cheer and ate our breakfast.

My neighbor asked if she could store some of her preparations for her Christmas dinner at my house. She said that the men in her family keep eating what ever she prepares and she is tired of cooking. So she hid platters of fresh pasta in my refrigerator.

I left the door unlocked when we drove down to Nepenthe's in Big Sur so she could find the food.

The food was gone when I returned.

The family gathered for a Christmas Eve dinner. The children sang songs and read stories. All the adults were attentive to the children's entertainment.

We ate, opened presents and then we were all very very tired.

Now it is time for bed.

A friend and I talked about how much we love the New Yorker. I have subscribed for at least 50 years. That sounds like a long time. This magazine helped me understand the world I was living in and gave me the words to explore. I will continue with the New Yorker as long as I can.

Spent the morning working on fliers and the January calendar for Monterey Bay Zen Center. I couldn't get one flier right, I had to keep doing it over. Finally I gave up and thought I will do it again tomorrow after I have a rest.

I am trying to figure out how to use Facebook. Maybe there is nothing to figure out, it just is naturally shallow. I thumbed through a book about facebook from the library but it was too complicated to hold my attention. Now that I have a page I check everyday to see what's up. Well nothing is up. I think it is more playful then I can stand.

The dying pine tree that looms over my house has produced thousands of pine cones all ready to fall. I hope it doesn't make more cracks on my already cracked sky light. The city said they were taking down the tree in January.

cold, cold today. Di finally go out and clip some of the plants that I love and stick them in the ground hoping they will grow in the next rain. Come spring there will be more plants in my garden.

Now I am going to take a walk downtown to the library.

a friend gave me some homemade fudge for Christmas and warned me to not share it. It is just for you. And I am not sharing it. I just eat and eat and eat. It is so good. Nest year I will share it.

Went to see MILK at the Osio theater in Monterey.
Several times in the movie I cried. Such hard times.

We then went to Ocean Sushi for dinner.

cold clear day.

Two friends are spending the night, on their way to Tassajara. They plan to come in around midnight and leave by 7:15am. I guess I will not see much of them.

Had coffee at the Paris Bakery with a friend this morning and she gave me some wonderful holiday cookies and candy. I am going to eat them slowly.

Snow last night on the local hills tops. So beautiful. Spent the morning keeping the 8 year old boy company while his father was at work. The boy is sick but pretty active. We talked and played on the computer.

Sitting in my car by the Pacific Grove cemetery under a wide, tall cypress tree . A small blue bird jumped on the passenger side mirror.

Not a blue jay, could it be a blue bird? I don't know. The bird jumped off before I could make up my mind.

spent the weekend in Bolinas with my siblings, eating ,talking, wrapping up in blankets, sitting in front of a roaring fire, watching the sun rise and tide come in and out.

Saturday night we had dinner at an elegant restaurant in Olema. The waiters all wore black. I want to know where they got their uniforms, none of them were faded or stained. How do they keep the black so fresh.

The dinner and conversations and wine were great.

Packing up my suitcase and am driving to Bolinas to spend the weekend with my two sister and my brother.

We do this every year and each time it gets better.


Be back on Sunday.

Went to my local bank this afternoon to get some money and popcorn. Standing at the door was an armed guard. The teller whispered to me that he has been here since Monday. We all feel safer with him here.

I asked if something happened and she said Oh no nothing has happened.

UMMMMMM

billows of smoke rising in the sky from the old Fort Ord. Another controlled burn. I wonder how one would know if it is out of control.

I am burning old papers in my fire place. Must be a good day to burn.

I am reading Cherrie Blair memoir called SPEAKING FOR MYSELF, My life from Liverpool to Downing Street.

I saw her on Book TV recently and now am reading the book I got from the library. I do like it.

I like hearing about women's lives as I try to figure out my own life..

busy day. spent the morning working on the newsletter calendar and announcements, checking details, confirming plans. Then I spent some time on my writings. Too much sitting at my computer.

Sun finally came out and I went to lunch with friends.

took my sister on a tour of our local hospital. Lots of art on the walls and beautiful views from the windows, and in the central courtyard roses were blooming. I think she was suitably impressed.

I went tt the movies and dinner with my sister and brother in law. Suddenly I remembered that I was supposed to be monitoring the chaplain beeper and I had left it at home. What if someone had died, what if.

I left dinner quickly and came home. No messages. My sister and brother in law decided they would walk the mile home in the dark.

Too much drama plus the movie was too strange and weird for me.

I have hot water again. Yea. The deer is gone. The heater is drying out the soaked wood in the basement. Life is definitely better. I am limiting myself to two pieces of Godiva chocolate a day.

I seldom go into the basement of the back yard. I learned of a long term hot water leak form a visiting friend and called the plumber. In showing him how to enter through the back yard we discovered a deer or maybe a deer family had moved into the fenced yard. So I have left the gate open for the deer to leave but he seems very comfortable.

A four layer box of godiva chocolate arrived also today form my secret admirer in Yorba Linda.

So I will be able to eat chocolate while the plumber and the deer struggle for dominance in the back yard. Hopefully I will have hot water again this week.

the Coastal oak tree outside my bedroom window appears dead. Still there is moss hanging from the twisted limbs. I lie in my bed looking at it and wondering if I should do something.

It is still beautiful but there are no green leaves on the tree.

I think I will wait until spring. Maybe there is still hope.

the nights are cold. I bought a light blue fleece bathrobe to keep me warm. In the evenings I put on my flannel nightgown and then the fleece bathrobe. The robe must weigh ten pound and it is warm.

It will save me a ton of money this winter on my heating bills.

spent a quiet afternoon. Long walk on the waterfront, warm sunny day. Surfers waiting for waves by the wharf, waves that seldom came.

Then home for a nap and time to read. Now I am on my way to my son's house for dinner.

finished cutting down a dead bush in front of the house. Then I planted a rock rose and a lavender plant, hoping they will grow into the space.

Everything is moist and plump after the rains.

Green grasses growing up along the sides of the roads, in yards, on the hillsides. We will have a green christmas.

cold overcast day. Did errands this morning, carefully avoiding the shopping areas in case there were actually customers shopping this morning. The roads were empty.

Stopped for coffee and the New York Times at the local coffee house.

Drinking coffee, listening to music, conversations makes me happy.

Taking a mid day break, sitting in the sun light in my living room.

The kids and I took an exploratory walk by the wharf, ice skating rink has been set up in plaza, many pelicans and other birds hanging out on the wharf buildings. We sang singing in the rain even thought the sun was out.

Happy Thanksgiving.

The little boys in the neighborhood are afraid of the Moms. They stand out side of their friend's home and call out the name, Gionluca, Joseph, Hunter, Jacob. The sounds echo in the street and they wait for a response, wait for a door to open and their friend to rush out.

They absolutely refuse to knock on a door and ask, they might have to talk to the dreaded Moms.

Did errands this morning. After two years of not being able to use one of my burners on my stove I finally yanked it out and took it to Orchard supply to buy a replacement.

Always the question I have is why did this take me so long to do. I have had to manoevor around the broken burner, listen to my kids tease me and then today I just acted.

Of course I haven't been able to get it out of the blister package and plug it in. Maybe I will wait for visitors to come and help me with it. What's another couple of months.

My new favorite book, WATCHING GIANTS, The secret lives of whales.

I bet you didn't know they had secret lives, well they do.

The book is by my writing teacher Elin Kelsey. Take a peak, it is wonderful.

Dragged my poor tired body to Whole Foods this afternoon and was surprised at the crowds of people at the shopping mall.

Long car lines, few parking places, maybe the economy is not dead yet.

I brought home home made soups and milk and now can settle into being sick some more.

I'm sick, runny nose, coughing, burning eyes, sore ribs, achy body. It always seems that it will last forever, slept, read some, ate some, slept, waiting for this cold to pass.

A flock of tiny birds are systematically moving through the oak tree outside my window this morning. Jumping from branch to branch, upside down and then right side up.

I can't tell what they are eating but they are energetically stripping something from the tree. Early morning sun shines on the tree creating deep shadows obscuring some of the birds. Finally they are done and take flight.

The stragglers hang back for one last bite and then they too jump into the air and fly away.

Thursday morning is writers circle class at CSUMB. This class is weekly and I have to bring something to read to the group. I love it and I hate it and I keep going. Each time I think, I am not sure I can write one more thing but I do.

I can't put this book down. THE HUMINGBIRD'S DAUGHTER by Luis Alberto Urrea. A friend recommended it. At first it seemed slow and then suddenly I am taking it every where with me in case I have a few minutes to quickly open the book and continue the marvelous story.

I already know I will be sad when it is over. It is so strange how we tall in love with certain books.

the cool fog came in this morning. Actually it had arrived while I was asleep. Now in the morning my house is cool and I once again struggle with when to turn on my heater. I am on my second day of doing a three day stint of chaplain work.

another hot day today. Thee are massive fires in Southern California today. I was glad to hear from my brother to say he is ok.

Went downtown to go to the movies and then changed my mind. Lay on the couch all afternoon reading.

Parking near Red's donut shop in Monterey I leave the car doors unlocked. I am living on the wild side. I buy the donuts and pick up the NYTimes.

My car is fine when I return Nothing is stolen.

I have to find more exciting activities to do.

unseasonably hot weather. A friend and I went to Scooners on Cannery row for lunch. Sat outside overlooking the ocean. Didn't need sweaters. food was great. first time I have been there. I love sitting over the ocean.

What would the crows do with out telephone wires and poles. In Carmel the wires weave in and out of the pine trees but in Monterey they dominate the street.

I have learned to edit them out of my view and it is only when I look at the crows do the wires become visible.

I am grateful that my heater is so loud when it is on. I am more likely to turn it off at the earliest possible moment just to get rid of the rattling roaring sound.

I believe it was installed without attention to the noise factor. I used to get angry about the sounds but now that now that I look at my heating bills closely I am relieved.

full moon in the sky as we came out of the zendo tonight.

Went to Robert Lewis Stevenson School today to talk about Buddhism in the world religion class.

Bright interesting kids.

The school is so beautiful even when the sky is overcast and the air cold. We had a good conversation and then I came home.

tried to start the heater in my small zendo at home. I realized that I had to relight the pilot light. I couldn't unscrew the metal plate shielding the pilot light. It was 55 degrees and people were coming.

Sitting in the living room I suddenly realized I could use a wrench to loosen the nut and move the plate. And it worked and room warmed up in time.

Most of my tools have been moved around by the eight year old boys. I need to find them and make them available for my use.

Quiet day at home. Clouds slowly gathering and blocking out the sun. Feeling slightly ill/tired. Spending the day reading and lying on the couch. Took short trip to Whole foods for food. It is just beginning to rain.

Have this vague feeling that I should be doing something more useful with this quiet day. But I am not.

sometimes I am so tired I can't think, I can't move my body, all I want to do is go to bed and close my eyes. Last night was one of those times.

And this morning I am awake and slowly my energy is returning as the sun comes out and begins to warm my house.

Yea, Obama was elected the next president of the United States. I am so glad.