Early this morning an ambulance pulled up outside my bedroom window. Several young uniformed people were milling about looking for the key to the house. The house belongs to a 95 year old neighbor who goes to her daughter's house every weekend. They found a key and went in. Later I saw a stretcher with my neighbor on it. alive.

For years she tells us that she is ready to die but nothing happens.

My other neighbor is a 94 year old man with several older children. They frequently are yelling and cussing at each other in the back yard.

My fear is getting old and then older and then older and never dying. Become frail and frailer.

I got to think about this today during our day sitting in the small Zendo. My usual answers have dried up.