Saturday, August 8, 2026

     I have crooked stubby toes.  Sitting in my recliner with bare feet I see my feet clearly.  I can’t complain, they are pain free, even being 86 year old toes. I can’t always tell when I am wearing socks. So, my feet are a bit numb.

     I walk out to the mail box to pick up several days mail. Mostly for my roommate. I was going to ask my roommate to pick up the mail and then decide really it would good for me to do it. The fog is just returning in the late afternoon. We did have some sun in the afternoon.

     I took a long nap in the afternoon. I was tired. And I am moving slowly around the house.  Read a bit and scroll through facebook looking for something interesting. Babies and toddlers laughing do it for me.

     In the evening, we watch another episode of the TV series THE CAPTURE. I love it and it is the most complicated TV series I have ever seen. Takes a while to understand what is going on. I am now reading Rene Denfeld’s novel SLEEPING GIANTS. Most of the national news is on Trump’s anger at his crew and the courts.  He is losing it. But still people are afraid of his retaliation.

 

Friday, August 7, 2026

     Supposedly there is a picture on facebook of me with my brother.  I dare to disagree because the picture I have of myself in my own mind, is quite different, much more serious and smart looking, and maybe a bit thinner and younger. Who is this grinning old woman who is having such a good time at Denny’s with her wonderful brother.

     In the afternoon I get a chance to impress the golfer’s grandson with stories of our Irish ancestors. I particularly like the lurid tales from California’s gold rush years. Are they true stories? Maybe. I heard them from my older family members.  On his cell phone, the kid traces a 1950’s photo of a group of men. Facial recognition apt. Yep there is his great great grandfather, part of the gold rush family.

    Now there are 6 blooming sunflowers and dozens of tomatoes. My roommate harvests a variety of lettuces from the salad patch. The sun comes out in the afternoon warming up the house.  It is a two nap day.

     We are too busy to watch much TV. But I do sneak in half an episode of THE LAST SHIP, an older series reminding me of the cold war era shows.  War and peace, heroes and villains. Today’s political news has passed me by.

 

Thursday, August 6, 2026

     For the last five years I am dealing with incontinent supplies. My life changes after my first of six surgeries, 5 years ago. The doctors and nurses say they can’t help. If they could cure it they would try, but maintenance, you are on your own. No billing code for incontinence support. I am permanently damaged.

     The large awkward cardboard boxes from Amazon arrive several times a month. And they are expensive. Nope, Medicare doesn’t pay. Hundreds of dollars every month.  Day and night I am aware of my bladder. My goal is to just accept this is my life now. I am alive and the cancer is inactive for now. 

     The fog evaporates by noon and the sun warms the deck.  Still, some breezes in the trees. One more sunflower blooming, a short plant with a small flower. But the tomatoes don’t know when to slow down as they fill the yard with gold and red small fruit. I can only eat so many tomatoes a day. The roommate cooks chocolate chip cookies. In the afternoon.

     The golfer and his grandson are here for a short visit. This morning, we are having breakfast at Denny’s, yea, my favorite place. And the young poet unexpectedly shows up in the evening. We don’t watch much tv. I am reading UNSTABLE, A LIFE IN WRITING by Michael Cunningham. A combination memoir and stories of what makes good writing.