Tuesday, October 27, 2026

     Reading the morning paper about wars and poverty helps me understand my current upset is really small. My palliative care oncologist has retired.  When I last meet with him, he seems old and tired. The phone caller from the cancer clinic wants to help me find a replacement doctor. There is no replacement. People are not interchangeable.

     I worked with him for 6 years. He was willing to listen to my ideas and concerns and to create a workable plan for treating my bladder cancer. It is good he is taking care of himself, and I am also sad. When I am ready, I will begin the search for a new palliative care oncologist. He wasn’t perfect but he was kind and thoughtful, and smart.

     I have survived the two vaccines.  My arm is ok and my energy is back.  I drive my roommate to and from her afternoon medical appointment. I promise her this time I will not get angry at the staff. I keep my promise even though the one potential parking place contains their garbage bins. I surrender to the hopelessness of improving this office’s parking culture

     We watch an episode of last weeks THE DAILY SHOW. We both want to laugh a bit. We also watch some of MY BRILLIANT CAREER. I continue reading REGIME CHANGE, the report of Trumps incompetent and corrupt presidency.

 

Monday, October 26, 2026    

     My roommate makes early morning appointments at CVS for our flu and covid vaccines on Sunday. We talk about this for months and finally on Saturday I say now is the time. I don’t want to get covid or the flu. Six years ago, I develop a pulmonary embolism after the first Covid vaccines, and am sent one hundred miles  away to the Stanford Hospital ICU. The medical people say the embolism is related to the kidney cancer later found, not the vaccines. But my body is still cautious.

     Of course, the vaccine shots are easy. Walking through the mega store is exciting. So much stuff to buy.  It has been years since I have been in a store.

     While writing this, my roommate is talking calmly to a frantic small bird who is smashing around my bathroom. This is the third bird trapped in the house this week. She catches the bird and takes her back outside. My roommate has become a bird whisperer.

     We watch three episodes of MY BRILLIANT CAREER, a new series netflix. My New York daughter recommends it. No murders, no violence and likable characters. Perfect for us with sore arms and a bit of tiredness. Next week is election day. Maybe I believe too much that our country will improve, life will be better when we win. These corrupt politicians have a strangle hold on our country.

 

Sunday, October 25, 2026

     Clear night sky, moon light creeping into my bedroom through curtains and shutters. I fall asleep under the umbrella of moon light.

     The tall man brings me a COSTCO hot dog for lunch on Saturday. A giant hot dog with relish, mustard, and onions, and a coco-cola. Maybe once every couple of years I get such a treat. Most of the food I eat comes from Meals on Wheels daily deliveries. They do not have COSTCO hot dogs.

     I have already voted and still I get glossy election advertisements in the mail daily. I also get scam texts and phone calls daily offering to give me obscene amounts of money. I must have a hidden part of myself attractive to these scammers. Life can be dangerous.

     I watch an episode of LAW AND ORDER, an old TV series. I don’t know if I want to continue. Hard to find interesting TV shoes that are not violent and are interesting. MAJOR CRIMES, another old series is interesting but the stories are kind of stale. I am totally committed to reading REGIME CHANGE, a report of the Trump folks in the White house. I am so sad our country I love is fighting and supporting wars around the world. There is no end in sight.