Thursday, July 9, 2026

     I don’t remember why I bought this book, BLACK BAG, by Luke Kennard. A story of a man who spends a lot of time zipped into a large leather bag while sitting in a university class room. I start reading the book, but may not continue. I am intrigued with the concept but the characters are not so interesting.

     Had lunch with three favorite friends in Carmel. My friend’s house is on an incline. I struggle walking up with my cane. Need to exercise more.

     The lunch is great and the conversation is lively. Maybe I talk too much, my voice starts giving out. I spend so much of my time at home not talking. I love my friend’s charming home. I am not sure what he has done to make it so charming. Maybe I will talk to myself at home or read books out loud.

     In the early evening, my roommate is working outside shoveling dirt, and fighting gophers. I watch several more episodes of PATIENCE, the PBS detective series. And of course I watch the PBS News hour. The tragedies with the ICE police and immigrant communities are over whelming. What to do, what to do.

 

Wednesday, July 8, 2026

     I watch a series of facebook videos with babies and birds playing together. The baby’s laughter is contagious and I am suddenly feeling happy too.  I feel content being with trees outside but I am deliriously happy with delighted babies.

     It is 62 degrees in my bedroom this morning. My hands are cold, actually my whole body is cold.  But I am holding out to not turn on the heater. My roommate doesn’t say anything. It is summer, it is July.  The day will warm up, most likely.

     Our household pipes are draining this morning. All is well here.  I am getting supplies ready for the next crises. When my house is running smoothly, I forget about maintenance and chaos. Today I am having lunch with friends.

    Last night we settle down to eat our diners, and watch the documentary, ANDRE IS AN IDIOT, a comedy about a middle aged man dying from colon cancer. He lives three years from diagnosis to death. The message is to get your colonoscopy now, don’t wait. He makes jokes throughout the show. Funny, maybe, lots of sadness. I watch how he lives with difficult treatments and frailty until death. I am looking for role models for dying.

 

Tuesday, July 7, 2026

     I just poured a bottle of Green Gobler drain clearer into the bathroom sink.  Last night the kitchen sink would not drain and the kitchen water over flowed into the bathroom sink. We stop using any of the drains. Now I am waiting to see if the drain clears.

     But I spent most of the night entangled in disaster fears.  What If I can’t find a plumber. What about the toilets and I fell into imagining all kinds of disasters.  I tell myself I am too old to solve this problem.  My house is too old.  My kids are too old. All my friends are too old. On and on.

     And yet by morning I have a plan.  I watch videos of clogged sinks and confident women saying you can do this. The directions for green gobbler is to let it sit for 15 minutes or overnight. No clear directions here. My somewhat not young but very energetic roommate has a plan also.  She gets the kitchen sink and I stick with the bathroom sink. We may have to pick up more drain clearing medicine.

     Before the evening crises I watch the second season of ELLIS, another British detective living in a small charming town where murders happen. And I continue to read THIS IS NOT ABOUT US by Allegra Goodman. Now, I am sitting in my cold bedroom wearing my green puffer jacket, waiting for the drain to clear.