Monday, April 6, 2026

     I focus on paying attention to being alive each day. Yesterday morning I either swallowed the esophagus pill or not. I put the pill on the breakfast tray to take after a couple of bites of cereal. As I finished eating, I couldn’t remember if I had taken the pill. I check around the tray and the chair. Nothing. I decided to accept that I probably took the pill. But I am still not sure.

     This morning a cold wet fog is covering my neighborhood. Maybe the heat wave is over and I can put away the fan in the living room. Today is garbage day, the day to fill the bins and drag them to the street. Images of war continue with no end in sight.

      I started reading A WORLD APPEARS, A Journey into Consciousness, by Michael Pollan It is a slow read. I read a paragraph and then read it again to understand what he is writing about. The second book I am reading is Yael Van Der Wouden’s Danish novel, THE SAFEKEEP. It is bleak and fast paced.

     My roommate brings me an Easter dinner plate from her holiday visit with friends.  We settle down to watch JESUS CHRIST SUPERSTAR, a fabulous musical story of the gospels. Fabulous because the music images are so good, not so much the story. Although the story is deeply embedded in my childhood memories.

 

Sunday, April 5, 2026

     We watch an intensely sad, good movie last night and I can’t remember the name. I text my roommate in the next room and she texts back FANCY DANCE streaming on Apple plus. A story about the disappearance of a Native American woman and the effect on her family. I struggle with remembering names but not ideas and experiences.

    I sit on the deck in the dark looking up to the enormous sky. Tiny stars pop out. An airplane flashes white and red high over head. And always the rumbling car sounds, interspersed with roaring car engines. The windows lit up in neighbor houses and the distant glowing light of the town. Always the question, where are we and what is this huge expanding universe we live in.

     In the evening, I read articles in my current New Yorker. The Nordic mystery book I planned to read is too gory and I quickly put it away.

     Today is Easter and I have no plans. The sun is out and I expect mild weather.  Good enough for me. Maybe I will check out a new park bench in town.

 

  Saturday, April 4, 2026  

     I sit outside near the house in the late afternoon. I put on my puffer vest thinking it is cold.  But no, it is warm. I do my chair yoga exercises and watch for birds. What I see are shinny strings of cobwebs connecting plants, and tiny flying insects, and bees hustling around the flowers. Finally, one orange butterfly. The tall pine trees hover overhead giving me company.  Slight breezes keep the garden moving.

     Is it possible that the finger nails on my left hand are growing faster then the nails on the right hand.

     The Coastal Commission responded to my written concern about handicap parking at San Carlos Beach. saying they would not help.

     I am home alone in the evening eating left over pizza (not so good) and watching another episode of THE CLOSER. Really I can do better then that in my one precious life. I continue to be intrigued with reading the book WILD TREES, a study of daring young people climbing tall trees.