Friday, July 11, 2025

     Maybe we can convince CHOMP and MONTAGE to hire live people to answer their phones. Smart humans. The phone person should NOT be the lowest paid, newest employee. A kind human talking on the phone is part of the healing process for lonely, invisible patients.

     This book sits on the dining room table for months. Finally, I pick it up and start reading THE UNDYING by Anne Boyer, a Pulitzer prize winner. A reflection and memoir of a woman with cancer and cancer treatments. Yes, she gets it right. I keep reading all day. In the end I have difficulty sleeping. I don’t know what to do with what I am reading.

     Late morning, the sun is out and warming the house. Everything is brighter.

     I watch a new show.  No, I haven’t finished the other shows started but so what. SULLIVAN’S CROSSING is a Canadian romantic drama television series on Netflix. I am a cynic about romantic shows, I would rather watch a clean murder story. And yet here I am, watching a developing romance in a beautiful country setting. Odds are, I will not finish this series.

 

Thursday, July 10, 2025

     I call the Monterey library to check on a lost book. And A HUMAN BEING ANSWERES, a guy with a friendly voice. I want to cry. A real person. I am so tired of fake human voices and long messages directing me to another fake voice. Yea, for the library. I may have to call them every day, just to hear a real voice on my phone.

     We are both old and have been friends for 50 years. She brings cookies. We talk about losing our mental acuity. The first to go is names and nouns. We have to stop to describe a word that we cannot remember. Later the words pops into our minds unbidden.  But now I notice that I am losing the maps in my mind. The location of familiar streets and towns are being lost. I use Google search to reorient my mental map. My friend nods yes, she is experiencing this also.

     I am reading DREAM COUNT, a new novel by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie. I don’t know how to pronounce her name or the names of her characters, but the story is good.

     Yes, I do watch TV news every day. I don’t want to miss anything and yet, what is real or important. MSNBC and PBS news shows. I also read the newspapers every day.  Maybe I am living back in the 60’s and 70’s watching the Vietnam war and the massive violent protests.

 

  Wednesday, July 9, 2025

     The afternoon warms up with some sunshine.  The winds start gusting again. My daughter waters the dry front yard. I feel lazy and unmotivated.

     My daughter asks me if I want to be cremated when I die.  Of course I say. I don’t feel near death but it is time to talk to my middle aged kids about what needs to be done when I do die. We will all be together in mid August. I will be making a list of things thy need to know about how my life functions, bank, password, house issues, possible memorial, what to do with my stuff, who can help.  Lots to think about. 

     I have been in a race to finish reading the library books I have and get them back to the library. I plan to focus on the books I bought that are stacked on the table. I miss my personal librarian.

     Today an old friend is visiting.  I miss our friendship. It is harder to socialize when I have low energy and stuck at home. Friends seem to be afraid to bother me as if I am doing important activities. I value visits by friends., and I do get tired easily.