Sunday, April 26, 2026     

     I am rereading a book I read decades ago, Octavia Butler’s PARABLE OF THE SOWER.  I vaguely remember the plot. Yes, it is good.  Such a surprise to enjoy books from the past.

     I keep thinking of the last book SHATTERED, a memoir of a year in the author’s life of sudden permanent catastrophic disability. The author alternates between accepting and being angry with his new total paralysis. This weekend I feel anger and sadness with my body’s damage from the cancer treatments. No one’s at fault. I just want to be my old healthy self and that is not going to happen.

     We are watching another episode of THE CLOSER when I get a text from a friend about the shooting in Washington. For hours I watch the events on MS NOW as the politicians and security people, and the thousand distressed guests mingle the dining room. Yes a lone gunman did break through the security lines and was captured before he did too much damage.

     My roommate leaves the TV for her bedroom. My heroes are the many waiters who carefully clean up the dining room amidst the chaos. They quietly maneuver around the agitated guests and the police.

 

Saturday, April 25, 2026

     It is close to noon and I keep looking out the window for the MOW volunteer with lunch. Usually, I can usually hear the car arriving but some newer volunteers have electric cars. At first I don’t recognize the brown lump moving in the garden. A very young solitary deer is munching on the deer proof plants. After being annoyed, I become pleased to see this live creature. The deer stays for 10 minutes.

     I read the morning paper for current obituaries. I check the age and cause of death, older than me, sicker than me. I am looking for some clues of my future. Over 90 years old folks, the cause of death is not mentioned. It is the 80 year olds deaths that intrigue me.

     The tall man comes by for a short visit. Immediately I turn off the TV news, I don’t want him thinking I sit around all day watching the news. No, I sit around all day in my recliner reading endless books.

     The LATE SHOW with Stephen Colbert is the best of the late night shows. I will miss him when he is forced to leave in May. We watch more of THIS IS A GARDENING SHOW. On Netflix. Finally we realize this show is for children. We groan at the silly jokes.

 

Friday, April 24, 2026

      Foggy and damp this morning. I lie in bed plotting out my activities for the day. Library, park, nap. Maybe I should tackle the dreaded linen closet. Can I just stay in bed. Should I turn on the heater when I know the day is warming up. And why am I writing everyday. What is the meaning of living. A mug of hot coffee settles me back in my life.

     I have expanded the types of exercises I have been doing daily. My goal is to walk on stairs with some ease. I am stuck in the middle of being well and being sick. No medical crises in many months. Good news but I do miss the excitement.           

     I am on a roll with interesting books. The latest SHATTERED by Hanif Kureishi, a memoir of a serious illness. A new stack of books wait for me at the library.

     We watch THIS IS A GARDENING SHOW, a bit silly but I did learn more about growing apples and tomatoes. I’m waiting for season 5 of the CLARKSON FARM to start up. I am getting restless with TV shows and looking for something else to stir me up. Of course I almost forget the war and ICE and inflation and cost of living, homeless women and lack of good jobs. I watch TV news everyday and I am not sure it does me any good.