Tuesday, August 18, 2026

     Sunday was unexpectedly busy. A close friend came by and we had an intense conversation. Family members stopped by to check in after a long vacation.  The young poet who has a bedroom at my house, was ready for coffee and talk early in the morning. The bread baker came by with a fresh loaf of special bread. She and my roommate spent time in the garden talking plants and dirt. I am not complaining, just surprised. My roommate was intensely busy with her projects.

     Car week is over.  Two visiting friends are adamant that it is a disgrace to let the community be overrun with thousands of loud cars and crowds. Of course I stay home and I just listen to the sounds and check out pictures on facebook. There is some benefit in being home bound.

     My PT friend showed me some new exercises to deal with my curb fear. Easy tapping my foot on a low stair. Hard to believe but I am desperate and will try it. This morning, I hear the garbage trucks lumbering up the street. I am grateful for their work in removing my garbage and trash every week.

     I am watching GOOD MEDICINE on Netflix, a show that imitates the old British show Doc Martin. I have grown to like the cranky middle aged doctor. I am reading the collection of essays by Rachel Aviw, STRANGERS TO OURSELVES, UNSETTLED MINDS AND THE STORIES THAT MAKE US. I love it. The losing war in the Middle East is endless.

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Monday, August 17, 2026

     Just cold fog all Saturday. Sigh. I go through my regular routine of meals and sitting in my recliner reading. I start doing the PT exercises I learned last summer before my bout with sepsis.  The sign of improvement is not being afraid of curbs.  Being able to just step up or step down on the curb without fear of falling.

     The gigantic sunflower continues to monitor my every movement from the kitchen window. This flower is my friend. My windows are dirty. I am looking for a recommendation for a window washer.

     The house is quiet most of the afternoon.  My roommate is out to her different events. This morning the young poet’s room door is closed. She must have arrived last night after I was asleep. A friend is coming to visit later in the morning. I want to talk to him about this book I am reading THE MEDICAL ETHIC. We both like to talk about our medical conditions.

     I watch the last sad episode of THE BOMBING OF PAN AM 103. And then we tried a new show MAXIMUM PLEASURE GUARANTEED. First episode was lively and distressing.   Didn’t watch any news stories.  Maybe all is well or maybe I just don’t know.

 

Sunday, August 16, 2026

     It doesn’t help to cry. I feel so sad Saturday morning. I suspect it is living with not knowing what is going to happen next in my bladder cancer journey. Nothing is predictable.  I want to experience today and not wallow in fears for the future.

     Instead of an early nap on the couch, I wash the breakfast dishes and counters, pack up the trash bags and put them by front door, open up the front curtains, and go outside with my nail clippers to work on my finger and toes nails. Yep I do feel better.

     I am reading THE MEDICAL ETHIC, A Philosophical Memoir, self published by Dr. Russell Noblett. The difficulty is understanding the links between current ideas in philosophy with medical decisions based on tests, computers and evidence based medicine. Some of his observations help me understand my medical care these past 6 years. I remembering arguing with a hospital list doctor who entered the room to only look at the computer screens. I thought he should actually talk with me.

     So what is my TV report today?  Nothing really new, watching more episodes of familiar shows. I am ok with my choices but there is not much to write about. I am reading a detective book, NORTHWOODS by Amy Pease. TV watching is fun to do with my roommate and reading is a solitary activity. Did watch Friday’s Ari Melber’s news show about the possible severe economic problems with AI development. Something more to worry about.