Friday, October 2, 2026

     I live in a quiet subdued neighborhood, mostly old people who have lived here for decades. We hear an occasional dog barking and the crows raising a fuss. The visiting black cat is silent creeping around the yards. The military airplanes fly low over the neighborhood.

      The high school is a block away.  Now the stadium lights for the football field light up the early evening several times a week. The morning announcements occur daily.  The voices are loud but the words are garbled. Cars line up near the school to deposit the kids. Sometimes they walk through the neighborhood on the way to the park. Sometimes a stranger will come down the street and then turn back when the street dead ends.

     This morning, I am up early, getting ready for my 9:30 medical appointment. It is a familiar procedure but I am still nervous. I am one of nine patients today getting the cystoscopy treatment. I am part of a crowd of sick people. The experience fills my whole mind and body, but for the doctor I am just one of many. An uneven relationship. Maybe all relationships are uneven.

     I have been distracted this week and have not read as much as usual.  Still reading THE WEDDING PEOPLE. More books waiting. What I do I really, really want to read next? Tonight, the new series on netflix starts, EAST OF EDEN. I am excited. The boring, stupid, old president rants on and on, as if we are interested in what he has to say. He is giving a bad name to the wise and kind old people I know.

 

Thursday, October 1, 2026

     I get a little carried away at the doctor’s office having my ear wax removed, Time to improve my hearing.  The nurse reports lots of wax in both ears.  She can’t even see the ear drums. She promises me the treatment will not hurt.  No, no it will just feel uncomfortable. So, I sat in the chair while the water is slowly poured into my ear.

     I feel like I am drowning and start feeling I am on a sinking raft in the middle of the ocean with sharks sounding me. The nurse and the assistant laugh and pour more water into the ear. I am a little girl in the raft and I want a lollypop because I am being so good. Oh no, I have reverted back to being a child again. It is so much easier to be a child.  The nurse says the last man having his ears cleaned screamed. I said I didn’t know screaming is allowed.

     In the end my ear wax is very resistant and I am told to come back next week for another try. I agree to return unless my Friday’s cystoscopy says the cancer is back. I am not returning if I have cancer again. The nurse says OK. There is a 50 percent chance of no cancer being found.

     A friend is visiting for two days. She brings her own food and books. We watch the first episode of PLURIBUS on Apple plus. The second time for me.  An intense exciting series. When I can’t sleep last night I got up, turn on my light and read the latest New Yorker for an hour. Does our corrupt president need his ears cleaned so he can hear the screams of outrage in our communities?

 

Wednesday, September 30, 2026 

     Tuesday, I start swallowing an antibiotic pill twice a day, morning and night.  Big white pills.   5 days and then I am done. Each time I look at the pill and wonder if it will really go down my throat. So far, so good. Goodbye UTI

     My roommate is taking care of a friend just out of the hospital, for a couple of days. The house is quiet.  The black cat sneaks into the house looking for her.  I yell at the cat and wave my arms, and he leaves quickly. The cat lives someplace else but comes daily for treats. I don’t want cats in the house because of allergic relatives, and my fear of tripping over the cat. When I am walking on the deck I see the cat staring at me from the lower garden.

     I drive my roommate to the airport in the late afternoon.  I slowly take back roads to avoid the congested traffic on the freeway. The airport area is torn apart with construction work.

     I watch an episode of a British murder mystery, MARBLE HALL MURDERS and then head to bed.  I am liking the novel, THE WEDDING PEOPLE by Alison Espach. The tide is finally turning against the corrupt president as he unsuccessfully tries to start some new narratives.