Tuesday, January 20, 2026

     A close friend is ill, maybe dying. My mind fills with memories of all the people I have known in the last 85 years.  And yet each friendship seemed permanent. They come and go, and I am sad and surprised. These crowds of folks are alive in my mind.  Life is such a mystery. I just don’t understand where everyone is.

     I am also confused about our country, about Trump and his destruction of our country. Is it dangerous to even talk about Trump?  The news reports are dreadful and scary and yet my neighborhood is quiets and peaceful for now at least. Birds, trees, cars, school kids, old folks., flowers.  My roommate is intensely committed to protecting our democracy and our human lives. I just don’t understand what is happening.

     In the evening, we watch two more episodes of THE BIG “C” on Netflix. Such a compelling show about a family.  The mother has cancer and is dying and yet the show is funny and well written and poignant. I just don’t understand how they create an interesting family series with cancer.

     The message to my self is, I don’t have to understand, I just have to live my life, and pay attention. Life happens and is just not understandable. It is ok to feel happiness in the midst of sadness and pain. Sigh.