Wednesday, January 14, 2026

     Listening to the BCAN podcast with two expert doctors talking about bladder cancer, just upset me. It is medical talk between doctors and I am reminded I am not a doctor.  I am a bright intelligent patient, and mostly invisible. I am not sure what would have been helpful for me.

     Finally, I am struggling with the uncertainty of living with cancer and cancer treatments. There is not a clear path of what to do next. There is a clear path to replacing my home heater but fixing my body, no. Having cancer is like finding a bear living in your home. How do you get the bear out without destroying the home. Each expert has a different plan and the bear continues making itself comfortable at home. At some point the bear and I have to come to some agreement.

     A friend tells me I teased her liking the TV series THE CLOSER many years ago.  I don’t remember this.  I do know that I have been wrong before about my opinions.  I do like this series on Netflix. I have fewer opinions as I get older.

     I continue to read THE DISPOSSESSED slowly.  I am committed to finishing this complicated book if only to prove to myself I can.