Monday, March 6, 2023

Wake up to sun this morning, still cold, but the sun warms up my kitchen windows. In the middle of the night a rain storm blew through.

We watch the Oscar nominated documentary FIRE OF LOVE last night, recommended by my east coast daughter. A study of volcanoes and a couple who studies them. My local daughter and a friend and I like the movie. The volcano is a role model for me.

My moods, my feelings change quickly during the day.  I monitor them to see what is really going on but they are too quick. Should I try to be positive all the time, or just let the emotions flow through? I am trapped by our cultural rules of remaining happy, pleasant, hopeful in the midst of difficulties. I want to scream and yell and throw books around the room. Or at least I want to joke about outrageous behaviors.

Today is another doctor’s appointment.  I am making a list and checking it twice.  I will block the door to keep the doctor in the room until I have gone through my list.