Went to Turtle Bay for a late lunch. Had just survived the unexpected drenching in the rain storm.

I was quietly eating my chicken flautas and in walked two families with 6 children including two sets of very small crying twins and strollers. they took over several tables near me. It took awhile for the babies to settle down. There was lots of noise and activity around those tales with the parents doing their best to keeping the family under control.

when I left I smiled at the mom and said you are really brave bringing out these kids or maybe you were desperate. She smiled and said desperate.

While sitting outside on the concrete patio before meditation I noticed the ants scurry on the ground. These ants were moving quickly and then stopping as if they were sprinting. I think of ants slowly moving forward in long lines.Was this normal or had I not noticed before. Who to ask? I will look next week to see if they are behaving in the same way.

Working on a treatment for out proposed documentary film on homeless women in Monterey. The hardest part is finding the narrative arc. Where is the tension? Where is the resolution? It is eluding me at this time.

Gusts of wind are blowing outside my house. What would it be like to have to live outside. Here I am protected and sheltered and can watch the effects of the wind through the windows.

My house is clean today. yea.

I know it is time to do my taxes and yet I haven't done them. this week I promise myself. I am not waiting for any further information. I am ready and yet somehow I am not ready or I would have done them.

This morning after the rains I found lots of worms on the street pavement. Were they trying to cross the road like the famous chicken in the the chicken stories. Were they looking something dry. Were they happy. That is the biggest question,

Are worms happy?

Am I happy?

Well actually yes I am today. Thank you for asking.

Spent the morning leading a meditation session with the Christian Church in Pacific grove for their lenten day of silence. A very sweet group. Then to Whole Foods for some food, crowded, everyone wanting to load up before the rains really start. I got by bag full and went home. Now I am lazy and don't want to do anything.

I finally bought a new electric tea pot for my house. The old run leaked and had a rim of yucky goo coming out of the seams. I hated to look at it. Now we have a shinning new one. I haven't used it yet. I am not such a good shopper but there comes a point when I have to bite the bullet and just do it. This was one of those times.

Spent the day at home, slowing down, taking care of myself. Woke up to the fog and now there is some wind. Watched the news this evening and it seems we are in a terrible times. I need to find the hopeful news.

I am up to page 280 of the book I am reading, only 621 pages to go. Luckily the book is compelling, Haruki Murakami's 1q84. It just gets better and better as the pages go on. but the book is heavy and my arms get tired holding it up.

I am determined to find others who have read this book.

Up early this morning to have regular blood tests done for cholesterol and to check my vitamin d levels. These level have never been checked. It was cool and all of old fasting folks were there at 7 when the doors opened.

I see more and more that I am part of a tribe of old people lining up for the next thing. Want to break out of this tribe and find another one, maybe one who is willing to start reading a 900 page Japanese novel. Surely that would be an interesting tribe.

Snow on Mount Toro today and just below the snow line the mountain was green. Cold in Monterey. rain is gone. Spent an hour outside in the cool sun reading and trying to get warm.

Had breakfast at Victorian Corners in Pacific Grove with a friend. I forget how much I like to eat breakfast out.

I keep thinking of ways to avoid my writing assignment. Writing is sometimes so hard. Today I went out, read the Sunday paper, had breakfast, went to the sports center, took a nap.

Finally I realized I hadn't done what I had planned to do.

There are still is a couple of hours left tonight.

The rain has come.

Went to a class on Meditation with the body. We lay on the floor while the teacher led us in a body meditation. I struggle with trust and didn't want to do it. It was too hard, I was going to hurt myself. Some tears came out of my eyes.

The teacher said I should try it in my room at home on my bed. Maybe the floor doesn't work for you. I struggle to get up and down on the floor. such a wimp. I will try it at home.

Went to the sports center. I did twenty minutes on the treadmill and fifteen minutes on the bicycle. But I was moving slowly. Listened to Leonard Cohen first and then Mozart horn concertos. Ran into my son and we talked about the kids schedule next week when they off for the two week school break.

Usually we don't talk at the Sports Center, a quick nod and then we are on out way.

Went to see THE SEPARATION, an award winning Iranian movie. Pretty intense and believable. Just a few people in the audience for this afternoon showing.

I still feel emotionally wrung out by the story. I don't want to watch the national news tonight, enough intensity for now.

I don't want Iran to be our enemy.

I hear rain outside at last after two days of stormy clouds but no rain. I went to lunch at Denney's in Monterey. Lots of solitary old men eating by themselves. I was the only old woman eating by herself

I had no desire to strike up a conversation.

I just ate my hamburger and read my copy of the New York times.

Wendy stormy day. Had my hair cut today at super Cuts, I am letting it grow out a bit. I was the only customer early in the day. The place felt big and lonely. the whole town is pretty empty today.

I lost an hour this weekend and I can't find it. I am so tired without the lost hour. My yard it dry. Need to have more rain this week. Not thinking so clearly. Need to go to bed early but not this early.

Not much traffic on this winter Sunday in Monterey. Drove to Carmel Valley listening to channel 50 on Sirus radio. Outlaw cowboy music. I can only listen to it with the volume turned up and windows rolled down,

For a short time I was no longer an old lady driving her car.

I was an outlaw.

Went to the independent bookstore at the Crossroads today. A real bookstore where i could walk around and touch the books. Buying a book as a gift and bought two for me. WOW. I had forgotten how much fun bookstores can be. I just have to give up the idea that I have to get a bargain. I like real bookstores.

Unexpectedly warm today. doors and windows open. the six year old neighbor Nicos came by to see if I had seen the wounded deer. No I hadn't. they have called animal control to help him out. Nicos had this long story of how the doctor was going to take care of the damaged leg. I hope that is what happens. Scott saw the deer, he was young and dragging his leg.

I've been watching pedestrians just walk off the curbs onto the street without looking for cars. they assume that everyone will stop.

Sometimes they are talking on their cell phones and sometimes just not looking.

How come they are not afraid. I am afraid. I know there are a lot of crazy drivers and I have to watch out for myself.

I want to just shake them awake.

I met my friend at Paris Bakery in Monterey. I haven't gotten used to their new set up with more space for the tables. My friend knows everyone and wants to talk to each person tat comes by. I am not so social and try to be patient. Today it started to annoy me more then usual. I need to become more social.

Went to check my mailbox outside my house and there was no mail. I went back later in the day, still no mail. I can't remember when there was no mail. I always get mail but today, no mail.

Is it a holiday, I don't think so, just a no mail for me day.

Left the house at 6:30 this morning and just got home at 4:30. one appointment after another.
so busy and now I am tired. The flies are all gone thanks to my son's aggressive smacking them with a magazine. All is well.

Feeling sad when I realized that this week was the two year anniversary of the death of a person I had known for many years. Death is so final and conflicts that existed don't seem to die. We keep fighting the issues even when the person is gone. so sad.

A friend asked me if I had stopped reading. she noticed that I was not adding books to my blog list. I had just been lazy. Now I am adding the books I am reading to my list. I read a lot and with great pleasure.

Driving home tonight I saw a deer on the side of the raos half a block from my house. It was dark. A young kid was just outside his house watch and pointed out the deer to me. We both forgot how annoying the deer can be when they eat our gardens. What a wonder that they can live in our neighborhood and be mostly invisible.

My son came over in the late afternoon. he noticed my fly problem. As the house was heating up with the heater the flies started moving. he got a magazine and he and the 10 year old started swatting them. Wow, He was successful. there are many fewer flies tonight. I will see what happens tomorrow. Maybe it is the beginning of the end.