The flies are getting worse. I thought they only had a three day life span. I caught dozens of them yesterday and still there are more. UMMM I guess I will have to look for the real reason rather then hope they will go away.

Caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror at the Sports Center. I was walking on the tread mill, doing my usual stint of boring exercise. There I was looking short and squat. I had started thinking of myself as heroic and beautiful as I stuck with the machine. but it wasn't true, I was my usual old lady. how disappointing.

Sat by the beach today, cold, stormy sea. I could sit in my car while the sun warmed me up. Outside people were jacketed up to keep out the cold. No boats going any place today. I picked up a warm bean burrito to eat. we do live in a fabulous place.

Been working on editing some writing and eating gum drops. Now I feel a little queasy, too many gum drops. I can't seem to work on writing without gum drops. You know that small package from Trader Joes. I buy a couple of them every week.

Maybe I should try some other reward for working on my writing. Would carrots work?

A red tailed squirrel is racing across the branches of the oak tree outside my window this morning. I watch the branches shake. I keep opening one eye at a time to see if I can see clearly. Lots of my friends are having cataract surgery lately. How do I know when I need that procedure. Seems to be OK today.

there are at least a dozen large clumsy flies in my kitchen. I hate them. We opened the windows and doors to let them out. Do I really believe that they are accidentally living in my kitchen. I think I need a better plan.

I watched the latewst epside of the Good Wife tonight. One of my favorite shows. I think there should be one good program to watch every night but I can't find them. I dutifully watch the news everynight and then I want some entertainment. Tonight I succeeded with the Good Wife.

I am enjoying the bose headphones that my daughter had recommended. The Sports Center loud noise is muffled and I can listen to various music on pandora radio on my Iphone. It almost makes the exercise bearable.

I am in my own little world and I see that everyone else has these wires to their ears. it is good that I like to read science fiction or this would all seem weird.

I met with two different friends today who said that they can't find anything to read. they have tried a bunch of books but can't stay focused. Immediately I have many suggestions but they just shake their heads. It's not about the books, I just can't focus. I want to help but I don't know what to suggest. Maybe they need more sleep or exercise or sunlight or milk.

Yesterday, two hawks were slowly drifting over my house. The crows became agitated and started shouting at them. They refused to respond and continued to move at their own pace. Today they are gone and the crows are quiet.

It is hard to think of anything else when one's knee is acting up. Ice and rest, that's all I can do today. It looks foggy outside my window. heater is on. For a moment I thought I had nothing to read and then I noticed the piles of books around my desk. Oh yes at some point I wanted to read these books. I will have to check them out.

Had lunch at Panda Express in seaside today. I spend so much of my life being with people like myself that it was a treat to be eating in a restaurant full of guys in army camouflage uniforms and young parents with messy kids. There is life outside of older middle class proper folks.

Drove to Moss Landing to have lunch with an old friend of mine. we met at the lighthouse cafe, a 1950's kind of place. I had my usual hamburger and fries and water. I try not to drink sodas anymore. We ate faster then we talked so we ended up sitting at the table long after we had paid . On the way home I saw bunches of poppies by the road. Made me happy........

I am diligently sewing on the new quilt, piece by piece and yet it never seems to be done. Stacks of squares done and not done. I am ready for this quilt to be done. I am restlessly looking at more fabric, something new. I am ready for something new.

I was busy from 5am until 2pm and then I was too tired to do much else . I did go to the Sport Center and listen to Whitney Huston on Pandora. Lots of energy in her music. Rained all day. Stopped at the library for some books I had ordered. Just finished watching Downton Abbey. I am so moved by the show. I want it to work out for everyone.

Sometimes I feel that I am just listing all my activities with out talking about some of the meaning of it for me and yet I don't know how to describe my life. the project I am working on in my writing is to describe my life as it is now and it is so difficult to do so.

Becoming aware of the homeless women in Monterey I started to remember how afraid I and my women friends were that we would become bag ladies if we didn't find someone to take care of us. Somehow I never expected that I would be able to support myself and yet in the end I did and most likely will never be homeless, but that fear lurks deep in my mind.

cool overcast day. Listen to the buzz saw all morning as another neighbor is hacking at their oak trees. I wanted to run out and say no, don't do this but I contained myself. the sound has stopped. Maybe there will not be any more cutting of trees.

Went to see ALBERT DOBBS at the movies today. A beautiful film, well done and very sad. I am glad that I saw it. it was in the tiny theater at the Osio with maybe 30 seats , most of which were awkward and uncomfortable. Luckily I was there early and got a good seat. Lots of people on the streets and around tonight

Gerald, my middle aged unemployed neighbor has been torturing the oak tree in his back yard which is just outside my kitchen window. He is constantly hacking at it with a chain saw.

In the late afternoon he sets up his extension aluminum latter and starts climbing up the tree. The tree now looks like an umbrella having lost most of it's limbs.

Is there a moral law against torturing a tree. If this was a dog I could call the police.

Planned to have coffee at the Pine Inn this morning with my friends but we didn't want to cross the picket line. The employees are striking for two days because they don't want to loose their medical benefits.

I absolutely support them. So we went to Pacific grove for our coffee.

I remember going out on strike many years ago and how scarey it was and in the end it was good for us as employees. I support unions.

The kids lounged around the living room this afternoon. No one wanted to go outside. the 12 year old boy played mind craft on the computer and the 10 year old girl flopped on the couch reading. I was sewing. Finally the girl asked if I wanted her to read to me and I did, so she read for an hour out loud
A quiet peaceful warm afternoon. I hope we do it again.

Overcast cloudy day, waiting for the sun to come and wash down the pollen.

I feel flat, not quite sue what to do with myself this afternoon. The Plein air class went well in the morning and now I am restless. Going to read another mystery story.

I wonder about how we get entranced by reading and by story telling. I am totally caught by Downton Abbey and yearn for it to continue forever even though I know that is silly. It has one more episode and then it is over for a long time. And some books I just don't want to end. So strange how our minds get caught.

I didn't watch the super bowl. Not on purpose , just it didn't come to my mind. at 5 on Sundays on channel 9 the new Bill Moyers show is on. I watched that. I learned more about what is wrong with our country , no one seems to understand how to fix it but we are getting better at describing it.

Now I am back to reading mystery stories, seems to be the only thing that works for me today.

Spent the morning in the gardens at the Barnyard, writing, sitting in the sun, enjoying the colorful flowers, birds singing. Only thing not present were people, customers. Shops open and no one to buy anything on a Saturday morning. Maybe we can convert this beautiful upscale shopping moll into a school. a university. It would be great for classrooms and dorms.

I can dream can't I.

I have signed up for the four day workshop with Naomi Shahib Nye at Tassajara zen mountain center for the end of May. I have gone twice before and am excited that I will be able to attend again. Now I have to settle down and write some more.

Read the entertainment section of the newspaper to see what movie I want to see. Lots of new movies out but none grabbed me. So I am home not watching the news, reading in my room. Not so be. Just finished Penelope Lively's new book HOW IT ALL BEGAN. I RECOMMEND TI.

I am having difficulty with my iphone, or at least the ipod part of my iphone. I can't bring up the podcasts that I have downloaded and seen on the screen. Today they are not on the screen. I don't even have the language to describe what is wrong. It's all about words. I have to pull out my iphone for dummies book and see what I can learn again.