Wednesday, April 30, 2008

You can tell that the great blue herons babies have arrived. Older men with cameras on tripods and are standing near the trees.

The cars drive slowly past with the drivers taking a quick look.

This must be the most dangerous curve in Monterey. We all want to connect with these wild beautiful birds.

Tuesday, April 29, 2008

This morning at the end of the pier I saw a neglected old fishing boat that is being colonized by comarents, dozens of them are building nests. These beautiful black birds look so comfortable in the middle of the inner harbor.

Near the New York Times box on Alvarado street a disheveled young man and his black dog have taken over the bench for the last couple of weeks. The kid sits on the bench reading novels. He doesn't seem to be begging although I do see that sometimes he is in conversation with men who stop to talk to him.

I feel a bit uncomfortable when I pick up my daily paper.

Monday, April 28, 2008

I went for a regular appointment to my doctor at the County clinic. Sitting in the waiting room I get to see lots of babies and toddlers and their exhausted parents. The toddlers explore the room, tease their parents and check out new people. I am disappointed if I get called in too quickly.

I am so lucky to go to this clinic. As usual I am well, just getting older.

Sunday, April 27, 2008


This afternoon sitting on my meditation cushion I begin to notice that an ant highway has started on the wall in front of me. I resist getting up and doing something right now. Ants, yuk.

I sit the alloted time and decide tomorrow I will look at the ant highway.

Saturday, April 26, 2008

picture - Helen Frankenthaler

This morning the sun warmed the earth quickly. We had a three hour interfaith retreat at the Cherry Center.

I now have proof positive the the earth moves. During the retreat the sun light, flowing through the large skylight, moved across the wooden floor. Inch by inch, melting people in it's path. Luckily I sat at the edge of the room and stayed whole.

Friday, April 25, 2008

Picture, Alex Katz


I was directed to park in the public parking lot on 6th Ave at CSUMB. This turns out to be an immense flat weedy paved lot with at least 20 tall light poles and it was empty.

This is the third time in three weeks I have parked there, paying $1.00 for a ticket and then being the sole car in the lot.

My car feels vulnerable in this empty space, but I follow the directions and go to my morning writing class.

Thursday, April 24, 2008

As I drove to the Zendo in the early morning I see the patterns of frost on the roofs. I make up stories about who turned off their heater, thought there was no need for heat this season, who only heats part of their houses, which hotel rooms are empty.

If I were a burgler I would check out which houses appear empty by looking for heavy frosts on their roofs.

In my neighborhood there are three unoccupied houses all with heavy frost.

Tuesday, April 22, 2008

I spent hours this morning trying to create a flier for some classes in May. I had downloaded a photograph that I thought was wonderful but when I would print it out it was blurred. I tinkered with the formatting and the words and the picture. Finally I gave up and found another picture that prints well.

The pine tree are now filled with Blue herons nesting. It's cold today and the paper said rain but no rain has come yet.

Monday, April 21, 2008

I meet with my friends for lunch at the Pacific Grove golf club house, in a back room where there is not sound system.

As I am leaving and walking through the main room I hear Frank Sinatra crooning on the speakers.

Suddenly I am back in time 30 years. I am surprised that I actually like hearing him. For so long I was embarrassed that I use to like those old crooners and now it feels OK.

Sunday, April 20, 2008

Afternoon walk on the waterfront. A huge looming cruise ship was anchored in the bay near the wharf. High winds blowing, small moored boats pulling at their lines. The cruise ship, The Celebrity Cruise, just sits still in the water, at least 9 stories high. Cars are parked on the pier, people watching the ship as it pulls up its anchor and begins to more away.

I keep walking clutching my jacket in the gusts of wind.

Saturday, April 19, 2008

Cold gusts of wind have been blowing around the neighborhood today. White caps on the bay, dust swirling in the streets. Good day to stay home and read.

Friday, April 18, 2008


I am working on a flier for three classes in the late Spring on the teachings of Dainin Katagiri Roshi. I never met him but this is such a sweet picture of him. He was my teacher's teacher.

This morning I was three trailers piled high with fishing nets by the old railroad station. Fishing season is getting ready to start.

Thursday, April 17, 2008

some days by 8pm I am so tired that I can barely drag myself to bed. I've been up since 5am. I watched a documentary show on TV about modern ballet and just watching those dancers move so gracefully, reminds me how tired I am. So on to bed.

Wednesday, April 16, 2008

Last night in the Zendo, erratic gusts of wind were blowing through the pine trees, buffeting the building.

The sunlight on the floor moved in response to the jerky trees limbs. It was easy to see the light skip across the floor, it was harder to see the wind in the trees causing the shifting shadows.

A lone screen door banged into the wall, the building itself cried out and we all sat in silence as the sun set and the dark moved into the room.

Sunlight dancing
with pine shadows
the desperate wind

Tuesday, April 15, 2008

Drove to Salinas in the early morning for jury duty. 150 people showed up.

The bailiff gave us security instructions for going into the court room,
no drugs,
no guns or bullets,
no knives not even itty bitty ones,
no screw drivers or sharp tools,
no mace, no pepper spray (you women who carry pepper spray will have to let us protect you) ,
no knitting needles or crochet hooks, (If you absolutely must crochet do it outside, ha ha)


He then gave us a 20 minute break so everyone could return their weapons and crochet hooks to their cars. About half the group left.

Sunday, April 13, 2008


took a walk after dinner down the hill to the gully where the blue herons are nesting. I saw many nest but only two with birds sitting.

On the way back I saw two tall pine trees that had died turning bright rust color. I also saw many healthy trees, but the dead ones caught my attention.

Saturday, April 12, 2008

very warm today. a silent retreat day with sitting, walking and more sitting. And then we had a pot luck dinner and we all just talked and talked. Good day.

Friday, April 11, 2008


I go to Tartuga for lunch today in Seaside. Michael has been talking about their wonderful cubano sandwich for years. So Tasha and I share one.

My half is so thick that I cannot get it into my mouth. My mouth just doesn't open wide enough. I nibble around the edges and then open up the sandwich and eat through the layers with my fingers.

My hands, face, and shirt are spattered with sauce and cubano crumbs.

Thursday, April 10, 2008


IT'S WARM TODAY, Yea!! I put on my brand new New Balance shoes, such soft soles, I love them. I have warn out my last pair and now have a new pair exactly like the last. Except after walking for a half hour my right foot stings on the side where something is rubbing my foot.

The walk on the waterfront is colorful. At least thirty small kayaks are cruising around the inner harbor, exhibiting bright colors, red, yellow, blue green. The sea lions are bunched together watching, waiting for something. And the sea gulls are busy.

Wednesday, April 9, 2008

every day I drive by the Blue heron rookery, just down the street form my house. There is no place to pull over and look so I quickly glance and then return my eyes to the road. I keep thinking that I might hit something when I am looking for the birds. There are several nests high up in the pine trees and I think the birds are now there.

Certainly blue herons fly in and out of the area.

I think I need to take a walk and check out this site and not rely on the quick drive by glance.

Tuesday, April 8, 2008


Tonight in the zendo we had a ceremony. Lots of bowing and chanting and incense. While we were doing the ceremony a great peacefulness arose in the group.

Now I am tired, my knees hurt and I am sneezing from all the incense. But I feel happy.

Monday, April 7, 2008

up at 5am this morning to go to zazen meditation at the Cherry Center. My usual Monday morning activity. So now at 7pm I am tired and think I should make myself stay up until at least 9pm.

I have just started reading the new book by Pico Iyer, THE OPEN ROAD, THE GLOBAL JOURNEY OF THE FOURTEENTH DALAI LAMA.

Iyer is one of my favorite authors and I look forward to each new book. This one is starting off well and now I just have to stay awake for awhile to read some more.

Sunday, April 6, 2008


Taxes, It's time to do my taxes. Piles of papers are on my desk. I think about it all the time and yet I don't do them.

Today I avoided doing the taxes forms by reading, taking a nap and then a walk downtown. Now I am on my way for dinner at my son's house.

All good activities, but the tax forms wait for me.

Maybe tomorrow.

Saturday, April 5, 2008

I go early to the Paris Bakery to meet a friend for coffee and conversation. I secure a bigger table and sit with my coffee and roll. Slowly I read the paper and fend off glances of people who want my table. It's too big for one person. But I am waiting for my friend who is not showing up. I read slower and slower.

Finally my friend comes. She thought we were meeting later. a misunderstanding. we drink coffee and talk for an hour. My bottom has fallen asleep. Too much sitting in a chair.

Friday, April 4, 2008


drove to Redwood City for the monthly Friday class. 90 miles to and from. Saw two car wrecks, thousands of poppies, fields of golden grasses, green hills, a million cars on the road, blue sky. All glimpsed from my window as I drove 65 miles an hours north and then south.

Tomorrow I don't want to go any where.

Wednesday, April 2, 2008

Drove to Salinas in the late afternoon amidst the commuter traffic. Stop and start cars. Near the end of highway 68 on the left, I spotted a flock of sheep on the hillside and on the right hill side new born calves with their mothers. Little dots of animal life on both sides of the highway. Yea.

Tuesday, April 1, 2008


My windows are clean. The man came yesterday with his ladders, squggies, cloths, sponges, buckets. He systematically moved around the house inside and outside. Spring is now visible from my living room.

And the city sent a tree crew and removed all the dead pine limbs hanging over my house. The tree seems bare now but I feel safe from falling limbs.

The plumber is creating a repair plan for my broken sewer system.

I feel so competent.