We had 19 people for dinner, many of them kids. Now some are watching a movie. and some (kids) running up and down the stairs, slamming doors and jabbering. the adults are quiet, gathering their energy to pull together and leave. I am sitting in my room and wondering if it is too early to go to bed.

I'm back from four days with my family at Asilomar. Although I did not have to travel far, only 5 miles it still was a whole other world. Glad to go and glad to return. Now I am sitting in front of the fire at home deciding what to do next.

The four of us girls went to Pt. Pinos Grill for lunch today. One is ten and the others are adults. We wanted to include the ten year old so she could learn what the women do in our family.

Well we laugh a lot and have perfected the word "what?" to mean many things. We also tell stories about each other. We know haw to have a good time.

I finally realized that the garden is dry, dry, dry. No rain in the forecast for the next seven days. I pulled out the hose and watered it all. I could hear the plants whisper thank you.

I wonder if we are going to have more rain this winter.

Lots of excitement around the house as my sister and her helpers were cooking all morning. This evening we are going to my son's house for a Mexican food dinner for Christmas eve.

Spent some time this afternoon at the occupy meeting at Colton Hall. Sometimes I feel so sad at the state of the world.

Now that holiday family is visiting I am eating out much more. I always like eating in restaurants but now I am full. I eat much simpler when I am on my own.

We continue to be fascinated by the current series on Dr. Who. Watched for several hours this afternoon. We have a lot more episodes to go.

cold windy day. Spent most of the day at home reading a mystery story. I had things to do but didn't do them. Tomorrow.

My daughter flies into Monterey tomorrow night at 11:30pm. I want to go pick her up but I am not sure I can be coherent enough at that time of night. Its now 8:30 and I am dropping quickly. she offered to take a taxi but I feel I am not a good enough mother to let her do that.

I'm going to bed now to think about it.

I am loosing the fight with the rodent in the house. Last night he gnawed at my bedroom door and tore apart the rug. I cowered in my bed until morning. This morning I went to the hardware store for stronger weapons. This is war. It is beginning to feel personal. There is no food in my room but me.

There was a dead baby deer along the side of Holman Highway on the way to Pacific Grove. We have a herd of deer in our neighborhood lately. Nothing is safe from the deer in our yards, unless the fences are high.

and don't even start me on the racoons. They walk across my skylight at night on their way someplace.

Up early this morning for morning zazen at the cherry Center. Hard to motivate myself and then it turns our great. Looks like ti might rain, overcast cold. Oh yes I remember it is winter, not summer. It is supposed to be cold and damp. How quickly I forget.

Last night as I was sitting in my room reading I heard a group of people coming down the street singing Christmas carols. Laughing and talking and then breaking out in song. And with the singers were a couple of little boys who were just screaming and making noise. I think they were self conscious about this effort to singing in the street.

Somehow it was all comforting.

I have unopened boxes and stacks of books on my bedroom floor and I just can't make myself do something about this. I am unmotivated. Usually I do what I need to do, pay bills, take out the garbage, do the laundry, wash my dishes. but clean my bedroom just doesn't get done. Maybe tomorrow. Maybe not.

Suddenly tonight we are flooded with Christmas lights. The puddles are reflecting the lights creating quite a display.

Our local police station is awash in lights to cheer up anyone who comes or is brought to the station. I think they should have a bit more decorum to reflect the somber feelings of having to be at the police station.

Oh well

Went to an early movie with some friends but it turned out that the movie was sold out so instead we went to dinner at Victorian Corners and talked for hours. Eating and talking without any hurry. What a treat. I didn't even miss not seeing the movie.

the full moon keeps waking me up in the middle of the night. So bright. but now it is waning. I am blaming the moon on my restless sleep but maybe it is the bowl of gum drops I ate that digested so slowly. Maybe it is the garbage cans be pushed up the ally, maybe the Christmas lights glowing into my window, maybe it is just getting old.

My skin feels so dry in this cold weather. I rub moisturizer on them everyday but still they look flaky and dehydrated.

Went to the Sports Center this morning and was working on the treadmill listening to Mozart piano sonata. the person next to me started coughing. I pushed the stop button and left and washed my hands. I don't want to catch any of the colds that are moving around town.

I just wanted to spent an hour watching TV while the rain was coming down. Sitting in my recliner with a blanket. I couldn't find anything but cooking shows. So I watched Jacques Pepin cooking potatoes. Yes I want to eat better. I need to start doing more cooking. First I will watch the shows and then I will cook.

I didn't see the eclipse this morning but I did think about it and imagined it in my mind while I was lying in bed. Maybe that is good enough.

Today I was usually tired. No reason that I can see. Went to my regular Friday noon time zen sitting at St James Church. The whole event was so sweet. the silence and the talking were great. We are completing two years of Friday sittings and will begin our third year in January. Came home for a nap.

I am still undecided about whether I will watch the evening news. I am so tired of the news and yet the habit of watching every evening is hard to break. Maybe I will just peak a little. Maybe there is some good news.

Went to see the movie JACK AND JILL. I don't recommend it. However the eleven year old boy laughed at all the farts and stumbling. I laughted too but somewhat more self consciously.

Spent the morning with the Plein Air writing group at Pino's Italian cafe. We talked,wrote and read to each other. the temporary Ice Skating ring was just opening as we left.

the morning started cold and then the sun warmed us up.

It is cold outside and this drafty house does not hold any heat. I have a fire in the fireplace and the heater on. couldn't find anything on the TV so the house is quiet.

Took a nap this afternoon. I wonder if I will sleep tonight.

Sc9ott and I watched the movie Fargo on
TV tonight. Now I want to lock all my doors. It is such a perfect winter movie. It hasn't aged at all. Such beautiful scenes of snow.

Last night it was so cold here in Monterey that I had to get up and get another blanket for my bed. Tonight I will be prepared.

I can't find anything good on TV to distract myself. I have a fire going, the house is heating up. A dog is barking outside. Guess I will settle in with a good book. Maybe the dog will stop barking.

Oh yes the mouse trap is set again to night in an attempt to catch it. the trap has been set for weeks. Soon we will be lucky.

Went to see the DESCENDENTS at the Osio tonight. I liked the movie a lot. Downtown was hoping with cowboys. It's cowboy poetry festival this weekend. A crowd of young men were holding up signs in front of Well Fargo for Occupy Monterey. Lively town.

I see a lot of fresh piles of dirt in the front year. The gophers are digging in. I'm thinking they will eat the weeds and leave the real plants alone. But maybe I am wrong.

I have one little seedling that I am protecting. If it survives it will be a massive oak tree and will shade my skylight form the summer sun.

I planted the acorn two years ago and now it is about ten inches tall. I can only hope.

The ten year old and I sat on the couch this afternoon and looked at U tube videos of laughing babies. The laughter was infectious and we almost fell off the couch laughing. She kept asking why do babies laugh so much and I said I didn't know.

I read a statistic that 85% of last years college graduates had to move home with their parents because of lack of jobs and debt. UMMM Maybe it is time to start an exchange program where parents can exchange their graduate for another graduate. A way to get a new perspective on young people. Moms wouldn't feel the need to take care of this stranger and the dinner conversations might be more fun.

I am thinking that my room really needs to be cleaned. My plans for tomorrow suddenly changed so I could do this or maybe I could go to the beach or the movies. I will always have my room to clean.

My neighbor Gerald is now pruning his oak trees so severely that there are leaves and branches only on the top. they look like umbrellas. The good news is that he has stopped starting fires and building giant tree houses.

The pruning is tolerable to us but maybe not to the trees.

I have finally added a fourth blanket to my bed. I like to sleep with the window open and the nights are colder. I can feel the cold skin on my exposed face but my body is warm. Perfect for sleeping.

No I am not going to shop today. I hate crowds and I don't like spending money. But I am susceptible to hype and excitement. I don't want to miss anything important as if being at target could be considered important. Shopping on Amazon is just not the same.

Well it is only 7am and I can change my mind many times today if need be.

I have built the first fire of the season in my fireplace. I love the feel of a fire even though I am terrified of my house burning down. Life is good when the fire is just right. Now I am going to make dinner and then watch Rachel Maddow on TV.

Went ot the new Starbucks on Alvarado Street this morning at 8:30. It was crowded. Lots of mothers with young children sitting at the tables. The kids drinking hot chocolate and eating breakfast. The mothers looking bleary eyed drinking their coffee. I assume they were on their way to school.

I had my drink and read the New York Times. Also read another chapter on i phones in the complete idiot's guide to i phones. I am still learning.

Beautiful Fall day i Monterey. the rain has brought out the lushness in the plants and trees.

Went to the Sports Center and I have increased the amount of time on the treadmill and the bicycle slowly. I am still having some difficulty with walking but my knees seem to be healed. So I will keep showing up at the sports center probably for the rest of my life.

Lots of rain today. I spent some time today cutting out the fabric for a zen robe for a friend. I have been meaning to do this for a long time and now it is done. I rewarded myself with some unintrerruped time with the new Lee Child's book. A good book is a joy.

Saw long lines of pelicans flying over the water outside of Moss Landing. Huge waves crashing. Spent time sitting on the deck of Moss Landing Marine lab. the doors to the building were locked so we walked around the edge of the building on to the deck.

It takes a while to settle in and start seeing what is really around. I am particularly interested in the bird life. We also saw whales off in the distance.

I sat out the Occupy Monterey rally tonight. It's cold, dark and wet. Yes I support them or maybe it is better to say I am part of the 99% so their interests are my interests. and it is good to see these young people working for change. This old person is going to stay in doors tonight.

I went to the Alternative Cafe in Seaside to hear my friend Michael Reid read from his newly published book. It was dark and there was not parking in front. It took all my courage to park my car on another block and walk to the cafe. I couldn't tell if it was a safe area or not. I didn't get hurt and the reading was great.

I am just about finished reading the Steve Jobs book. I am just dragging my feet with this one. I now have a better understanding of how my iphone actually works and maybe I will be able to use the ipod part of it in the gym. Sometimes it is all a mystery to me.

I would not have liked Jobs as a friend or as a boss. Too angry a personality.

I am sitting here in my warm house while protestors are gathering at Colton Hall for a 24 hour protest. For a moment I though I could go but I am not able to do so but I will be thinking of them and wishing them well.

Occupy Monterey is alive and well, thank you very much.

Went to see J Edgar at the Pacific Grove cinema last night. Sparse elderly audience. I fit right in. the movie wad dour and humorless. It was a well made film but too heavy and sad for me. I want to see a comedy now.

We are starting the 4 months of darkness now with the days shorter and cooler. I am holding my breath until it is over.

sun is out but still a bit chilly. I am busy setting up my living room for the last of the fall Sunday classes. Can't decide whether to turn on the hater or not. the room is slowly warming up with the sun. Maybe I will wait and see. My body seems to tolerate cool rooms but some people seem to shiver.

Lots of rain today. My house is snug and dry, thank you new roof. Out most of the day and now I am home and plan to stay here even though Occupy Monterey is having a rally later. Can't do it. I have books to read, food to eat and news to watch.

I have been following Occupy Monterey on Facebook. There are lots of conversations and activities. I guess tomorrow there will be an event at Colton Hall for Veterans Day.

Sometimes I think this group is more interesting on facebook then in person.

Took a leisurely walk around Asilomar conference center today with the 10 and 11 year old kids. We checked out the new reception area, bought an ice cream at the gift store, sat on the deck. Lots of construction noise going on. Yes this will be a good place for a family reunion.

I have the new Steve Jobs biography from the library. I was very excited about reserving it but now I can't remember why I wanted to read it. i will start it and see, maybe it is good. It certainly has had good reviews.

Spent most of the day in the house at a class and then a board meeting. the daylight hours just disappeared. Now I am tired but it is too early to go to bed.

I read Blue Nights by Joan Didion this week and was quite moved by her writing and her insight into aging. Yes aging is hard.