Happy New Year

Went to see THE KINGS SPEECH at the 5pm show at the Osio the theater was crowded. At the end we were very satisfied. Great movie. Downtown is jumping with visiters for the holiday weekend.

Saw a man and his dog walking at the edge of the park tonight. the dog had a flashlight strapped to his head so he could see where he was walking. The man did not have a light. I have never seen that before.

The family arrived around noon. Suddenly the house was filled with kids running and yelling. the parents came in slowly, carrying the luggage for the week long stay. The adults hugged and greeted each other. the kids continued their game until one started crying and the game stopped. Everyone was tired from the long plane flight.

Went to Copy King to have a bunch of fliers and calendars copied. They are friendly and quick. I sat in the chair for about 5 minutes and my order was completed. Now I have to print out the labels and stuff envelops. I just don't want to do it tonight, maybe tomorrow.

I am now reading THE EMPEROR OF ALL MALADIES, a biography of cancer by Siddhartha Mukherjee. I find this book so interesting as I look at my cancer experiences with what was happening in our culture..I understand cancer so much more now.

We drove sowly through the gusting winds and rain to get to Nepenthe for Christmas lunch. Inside the room felt like a tree house as we watched the tree branches whip around.

As usual the place was filled, warmed by the roaring fireplace and Christmas trees. We ate and talked more. Then we drove home. The storm had calmed some. There were only a few small rock slides on the road.

The music was playing at Juice and Java this morning as I was trying to write. Christmas carols and I knew them all. I could sing along with them, such a deep memory. It was just a couple of seconds of sound and I could identify it and begin to sing along. I think these songs will be the last thing to go when I die.

The sun was out for most of the day. Still it was cool. I sat on my front porch in the sun, reading from my book soaking up the warmth of the sunlight. At some point it got too cold to continue.

I didn't do any shopping even thought I am beginning to feel a bit panicked, I should be buying more, really I have forgotten something. This old familiar panic from the past Christmases. I will continue to resist the anxiety.

Spent an hour in the late afternoon playing spy games with the two kids. We parked on the wharf and watched people go by and created stories as to what was happening, Mostly mystery stories, high drama. Sometimes the 9 year old girl would go out to listen to conversations and then report back to the car team.

It was morefun then I expected.

I went to the Sports Center early this morning and parked in the handicapped parking. While sitting on the bike I suddenly thought, I forgot to put out the handicap sticker. Tickets cost about $800. I immediately abandoned the bike and walked quickly as I could back to my car. I am not able to run.

No ticket and then I saw that I had put out the sticker. I have to learn someway to remember when I put it out. I was too discouraged to go back and continue on the bike.

I hit another milestone in my knee recovery. I went to the cherry Center early and set up the chairs, cushions and altar. Slowly, but it was done. There were four of us sitting as the room filled with the dawn light. There is something deeply peaceful sitting quietly at dawn.

Then I went out to the bakery with a friend for coffee and a bear claw. By the time I got home at 9am I was ready for a nap.

My friend showed up at my front door this morning. soaking wet. I asked him where was his car. And he told me a long story about delaying registering his car and being stopped by the police. The car is now impounded in Monterey and he lives in Santa Cruz.
I gave him a ride to the airport to rent a car.

He knows it was his own fault but he is till angry. The city just got a windfall with the fine and impoundment.

The wind is blowing hard tonight. I am glad to be indoors. Last night I drove back slowly from Santa Cruz in the storm. Sitting inside is better.


I asm trying to remember where I put all the storm stuff in case the electricity goes out. So far it is OK.

The rain is going to continue for the next week. Just thinking about this forecast I miss the sun. Where are you dear sun.

Went to breakfast downtown this morning. Monterey Cafe. Warm, good food not too crowded.

this afternoon I am driving to Santa Cruz for a meeting. I will be driving slowly because of the rain.

At the Sport's center this morning I saw an older man walk through the cardio room, you know the room with all those machines and a row of silent TV high on the wall. He was shaving his face with an electric shaver. Didn't slow him down at all.

Now there is a sign about not using cell phones and not spending more then 30 minutes on the machine but none about shaving. Time for a new sign.

Went to Lou Lou's on the wharf for lunch today and someone had torn off the "l's" in the lign so really I was at a new place called Ou Ou's. My friend and I sat at the countered and split a juicy hamburger and fires and salade. And we talked and laughted. Usually we sit across from each other in a boot but this time we were shoulder to shoulder.

I am reading an interesting book by Carolyn Parkhurst called THE NOBODIES ALBUM. I am halfway through and amnot sure what it is really about but I just keep reading.

I have bought a replacement phone for my land line. My phone is slowly dying but not quite dead. I have it put together but not connected yet. I am so sure that I will be disappointed. If I don't plug it in I won't know. It sits on my living room table staring at me. I try to avoid looking at it. I wish someone would just come to my house and do it. Pleaseeeeee.

Warm sunny day.

Took the 9 and 10 year old kids to the park to play. I brought a book to read while I sat on the bench. I didn't read the book , instead I watched the birds in the tall pine trees and the oak trees. new green grass growing everyplace.

the kids actually played together for an hour with out a single fight. They are growing up.

went to a Christmas party tonight, first party of the season. It was dark and the sky was filled with fog muting and slurring the many colored lights. After the party the fog was gone and a moon and stars were out. The decorative lights were suddenly sharp and clear.

I want to find some lights for my house.

In Monterey the police station is covered in strings of lights. It is a bit odd for the police to be so festive.

This moring I watched a very strong skinny old lady do her work out. Not an ounce of fat on her, all sinew and tendons and muscles, maybe some bones.

Whew I don't have to worry about becoming her. It is too late for me to loose weight. I passed the moment when my skin would just contract with body loss. I am happy being plump and soft.

Spent three hours at the OLLI center at CSUMB listening to writers present their work for critique. Such good work. I am inspired to work on my own writing.

Also I got ot part in the special handicap parking so I didn't have to climb the stairs.

Spent an hour sitting on the wharf in the late afternoon. window down. a friend gave me some binoculars that I can use to check out the birds. People walked by, surfers played in the water, birds flew. My mood improved and I was ready to re engage life again.

a break in the winter storms. A sunny day today. Spent many hours working on my writing. It does feel endless.

Also I sat out in the sun warming myself and reading a new book.

Picked up dinner at Ocean Sushi and sat watching the depressing evening news.

I need to find a better way of spending the eveing.

Had diner with two of my favorite people on Cannery Row. It was dark and yet I wanted them to see the ocean. But it was dark and the table by the window just showed the black abyss . Nothing of the ocean could be seen. There was no moon, there were no lights. Luckily we talked and ate and laughed. In spite of the darkness.

Spent twenty minutes this morning at the Sports Center watching a tv football game with the sound off. Of course I was riding the stationary bike looking for something to distract me, to entertain me. I haven't learned the knack of reading on the bicycle.

I used to know how the game was played but I have forgotten. Just big padded men jumping on each other and the camera doing closeups and long shots. what are they doing and why do the men near me find it so interesting.

Drove on Lighthouse Ave. in Pacific Grove this evening. The trees in the center divide were encased in strings of white lights from top to bottom. Each tree a different shape. So stunning. In Monterey in front of colton hall the large tree was covered with blue and green lights and a few red ones. Stunning. We are entering the season of lights. I love it.

The sun came out for a short time at noon and thne the skies clouded over again. It's going to rain, yes it is. I am goign to see Susan Moon at the Cherry Center tonight. No profound or funny things happened to me today.

Saw more tattoos this morning at the sports center. But mostly in the morning I see my peers limping along. I think I can diagnose what is wrong now that I have been studying knees so intently for the last 5 months.

And along the street I see the familiar limp. We are an unacknowledged tribe of defective humans. At least I am not alone.

I spent the morning with a friend as her beloved dog peacefully died.
Everyone was calm and helpful and incredibly sad.

And yet when I drove home along the Carmel Highland coast the hills, trees, ocean shimmered with brightness, Some how death clears out the rubbish in my mind and I can see how beautiful the world actually is.

I wish the shimmer would last longer.