Friday, December 31, 2010

Thursday, December 30, 2010

Went to see THE KINGS SPEECH at the 5pm show at the Osio the theater was crowded. At the end we were very satisfied. Great movie. Downtown is jumping with visiters for the holiday weekend.

Wednesday, December 29, 2010

Saw a man and his dog walking at the edge of the park tonight. the dog had a flashlight strapped to his head so he could see where he was walking. The man did not have a light. I have never seen that before.

Tuesday, December 28, 2010

The family arrived around noon. Suddenly the house was filled with kids running and yelling. the parents came in slowly, carrying the luggage for the week long stay. The adults hugged and greeted each other. the kids continued their game until one started crying and the game stopped. Everyone was tired from the long plane flight.

Monday, December 27, 2010

Went to Copy King to have a bunch of fliers and calendars copied. They are friendly and quick. I sat in the chair for about 5 minutes and my order was completed. Now I have to print out the labels and stuff envelops. I just don't want to do it tonight, maybe tomorrow.

Sunday, December 26, 2010

I am now reading THE EMPEROR OF ALL MALADIES, a biography of cancer by Siddhartha Mukherjee. I find this book so interesting as I look at my cancer experiences with what was happening in our culture..I understand cancer so much more now.

Saturday, December 25, 2010

We drove sowly through the gusting winds and rain to get to Nepenthe for Christmas lunch. Inside the room felt like a tree house as we watched the tree branches whip around.

As usual the place was filled, warmed by the roaring fireplace and Christmas trees. We ate and talked more. Then we drove home. The storm had calmed some. There were only a few small rock slides on the road.

Friday, December 24, 2010

The music was playing at Juice and Java this morning as I was trying to write. Christmas carols and I knew them all. I could sing along with them, such a deep memory. It was just a couple of seconds of sound and I could identify it and begin to sing along. I think these songs will be the last thing to go when I die.

Thursday, December 23, 2010

The sun was out for most of the day. Still it was cool. I sat on my front porch in the sun, reading from my book soaking up the warmth of the sunlight. At some point it got too cold to continue.

I didn't do any shopping even thought I am beginning to feel a bit panicked, I should be buying more, really I have forgotten something. This old familiar panic from the past Christmases. I will continue to resist the anxiety.

Wednesday, December 22, 2010

Spent an hour in the late afternoon playing spy games with the two kids. We parked on the wharf and watched people go by and created stories as to what was happening, Mostly mystery stories, high drama. Sometimes the 9 year old girl would go out to listen to conversations and then report back to the car team.

It was morefun then I expected.

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

I went to the Sports Center early this morning and parked in the handicapped parking. While sitting on the bike I suddenly thought, I forgot to put out the handicap sticker. Tickets cost about $800. I immediately abandoned the bike and walked quickly as I could back to my car. I am not able to run.

No ticket and then I saw that I had put out the sticker. I have to learn someway to remember when I put it out. I was too discouraged to go back and continue on the bike.

Monday, December 20, 2010

I hit another milestone in my knee recovery. I went to the cherry Center early and set up the chairs, cushions and altar. Slowly, but it was done. There were four of us sitting as the room filled with the dawn light. There is something deeply peaceful sitting quietly at dawn.

Then I went out to the bakery with a friend for coffee and a bear claw. By the time I got home at 9am I was ready for a nap.

Sunday, December 19, 2010

My friend showed up at my front door this morning. soaking wet. I asked him where was his car. And he told me a long story about delaying registering his car and being stopped by the police. The car is now impounded in Monterey and he lives in Santa Cruz.
I gave him a ride to the airport to rent a car.

He knows it was his own fault but he is till angry. The city just got a windfall with the fine and impoundment.

Saturday, December 18, 2010

The wind is blowing hard tonight. I am glad to be indoors. Last night I drove back slowly from Santa Cruz in the storm. Sitting inside is better.

I asm trying to remember where I put all the storm stuff in case the electricity goes out. So far it is OK.

Friday, December 17, 2010

The rain is going to continue for the next week. Just thinking about this forecast I miss the sun. Where are you dear sun.

Went to breakfast downtown this morning. Monterey Cafe. Warm, good food not too crowded.

this afternoon I am driving to Santa Cruz for a meeting. I will be driving slowly because of the rain.

Thursday, December 16, 2010

At the Sport's center this morning I saw an older man walk through the cardio room, you know the room with all those machines and a row of silent TV high on the wall. He was shaving his face with an electric shaver. Didn't slow him down at all.

Now there is a sign about not using cell phones and not spending more then 30 minutes on the machine but none about shaving. Time for a new sign.

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Went to Lou Lou's on the wharf for lunch today and someone had torn off the "l's" in the lign so really I was at a new place called Ou Ou's. My friend and I sat at the countered and split a juicy hamburger and fires and salade. And we talked and laughted. Usually we sit across from each other in a boot but this time we were shoulder to shoulder.

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

I am reading an interesting book by Carolyn Parkhurst called THE NOBODIES ALBUM. I am halfway through and amnot sure what it is really about but I just keep reading.

Monday, December 13, 2010

I have bought a replacement phone for my land line. My phone is slowly dying but not quite dead. I have it put together but not connected yet. I am so sure that I will be disappointed. If I don't plug it in I won't know. It sits on my living room table staring at me. I try to avoid looking at it. I wish someone would just come to my house and do it. Pleaseeeeee.

Sunday, December 12, 2010

Warm sunny day.

Took the 9 and 10 year old kids to the park to play. I brought a book to read while I sat on the bench. I didn't read the book , instead I watched the birds in the tall pine trees and the oak trees. new green grass growing everyplace.

the kids actually played together for an hour with out a single fight. They are growing up.

Saturday, December 11, 2010

went to a Christmas party tonight, first party of the season. It was dark and the sky was filled with fog muting and slurring the many colored lights. After the party the fog was gone and a moon and stars were out. The decorative lights were suddenly sharp and clear.

I want to find some lights for my house.

In Monterey the police station is covered in strings of lights. It is a bit odd for the police to be so festive.

Friday, December 10, 2010

This moring I watched a very strong skinny old lady do her work out. Not an ounce of fat on her, all sinew and tendons and muscles, maybe some bones.

Whew I don't have to worry about becoming her. It is too late for me to loose weight. I passed the moment when my skin would just contract with body loss. I am happy being plump and soft.

Thursday, December 9, 2010

Spent three hours at the OLLI center at CSUMB listening to writers present their work for critique. Such good work. I am inspired to work on my own writing.

Also I got ot part in the special handicap parking so I didn't have to climb the stairs.

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Spent an hour sitting on the wharf in the late afternoon. window down. a friend gave me some binoculars that I can use to check out the birds. People walked by, surfers played in the water, birds flew. My mood improved and I was ready to re engage life again.

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

a break in the winter storms. A sunny day today. Spent many hours working on my writing. It does feel endless.

Also I sat out in the sun warming myself and reading a new book.

Picked up dinner at Ocean Sushi and sat watching the depressing evening news.

I need to find a better way of spending the eveing.

Monday, December 6, 2010

Had diner with two of my favorite people on Cannery Row. It was dark and yet I wanted them to see the ocean. But it was dark and the table by the window just showed the black abyss . Nothing of the ocean could be seen. There was no moon, there were no lights. Luckily we talked and ate and laughed. In spite of the darkness.

Sunday, December 5, 2010

Spent twenty minutes this morning at the Sports Center watching a tv football game with the sound off. Of course I was riding the stationary bike looking for something to distract me, to entertain me. I haven't learned the knack of reading on the bicycle.

I used to know how the game was played but I have forgotten. Just big padded men jumping on each other and the camera doing closeups and long shots. what are they doing and why do the men near me find it so interesting.

Saturday, December 4, 2010

Drove on Lighthouse Ave. in Pacific Grove this evening. The trees in the center divide were encased in strings of white lights from top to bottom. Each tree a different shape. So stunning. In Monterey in front of colton hall the large tree was covered with blue and green lights and a few red ones. Stunning. We are entering the season of lights. I love it.

Friday, December 3, 2010

The sun came out for a short time at noon and thne the skies clouded over again. It's going to rain, yes it is. I am goign to see Susan Moon at the Cherry Center tonight. No profound or funny things happened to me today.

Thursday, December 2, 2010

Saw more tattoos this morning at the sports center. But mostly in the morning I see my peers limping along. I think I can diagnose what is wrong now that I have been studying knees so intently for the last 5 months.

And along the street I see the familiar limp. We are an unacknowledged tribe of defective humans. At least I am not alone.

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

I spent the morning with a friend as her beloved dog peacefully died.
Everyone was calm and helpful and incredibly sad.

And yet when I drove home along the Carmel Highland coast the hills, trees, ocean shimmered with brightness, Some how death clears out the rubbish in my mind and I can see how beautiful the world actually is.

I wish the shimmer would last longer.

Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Went to the sport's center close to noon today. I now can bicycle 20 minutes at one time. I struggle with boredom as I sit on the machine with my legs going around and around.

Lately I have been trying to be inspired to buy real gym clothes but I find no role models that I like. This is not a fancy place.

I have found lots of tattoos that I like. Maybe that is the right direction.

Monday, November 29, 2010

Bought myself a box of see's candy this morning. Had a difficult meeting on Sunday and was feeling down. Noticed this huge Brink's armored truck stopping at the stores to pick up something. I suspect money. Del Monte Shopping Center must of had a good retail weekend after thanksgiving.

the chocolates taste wonderful.

Sunday, November 28, 2010

Went to a memorial service for a person I have known for many years. I have reached age of funerals and memorial service. Friends and acquaintances are dying and at some point my time will be up and everyone will gather to talk about me. I hope they will have some funny things to say and everyone will laugh. this memorial was full of tears and laughter.

Saturday, November 27, 2010

Sat by the ocean at noon. A rain storm had blown in in the morning. Some shards of sunlight. The ocean was calm, no waves at all. Some wind ripples and cloud shadows but no crashing waves.

I could hear the crunching of shoes on the path while I sat in my car.

Friday, November 26, 2010

I went to dinner with some friends in Carmel Valley tonight. I had to remind them that I am an hour and half person. I love socializing for one and a half hours and then I am ready to go home. I don't know how to just hang out anymore. So by 7pm I was on the road back to my home. Had a great time.

Thursday, November 25, 2010

I did it. I went up to my son's house by passing the 40 steps. It was good to spend thanksgiving with them. I had a quiet morning. I sat outside in the sun wearing a warm jacket. It still is very cold here.

Now there are left overs in my refrigerator for tomorrow. Turkey, potatoes, cranberry sauce, pie, gravy, all waiting for tomorrow.

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

cold,cold morning. Up early to start up the heater and then back to bed until the room begins to warm up. Frost on the neighbor's roofs but the plants look OK.

I sleep so well in this cold weather.

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Spent the morning doing erronds. Went to Jiffy to have oil changed in car, had fliers copied at Copy King, rode the stationary bike at the gym, Took soem fliers to the Cherry center, went to library, met a friend for lunch.

A quiet afternoon at home listening to the rain and reading.

Monday, November 22, 2010

Met my friend at the Alternative Cafe this morning to write together. I had never been there before. It is so strange, just two tables, a couple of chairs, a not busy coffee maker, an art gallery, a business office. A couple of guys on their computers.

what is their business mode?. How do they make money. My perennial question.

I am definitely missing something.

They sold three cups of coffee during the hour an half we were there and two of them were to us.

I am going to have to stop asking people about their business plans. They get uncomfortable trying to explain how they make money.

Sunday, November 21, 2010

My friend and I meet at Juice and Java this afternoon to write. We have never written on a Sunday afternoon. We both are lethargic and dull. Rainy Sunday afternoons do not promote good writing unfortunately. Well we will go back to morning writing.

Saturday, November 20, 2010

Went to see the movie FAIR GAME at the Osio this afternoon. Very well done movie and I left so sad thinking about the corruption in the white house and the Iraq war.
Then my friends and I went to the Full Moon restaurant and had a great meal in spite of the sadness of it all.

Maybe sadness is the wrong word, I feel helpless about our country being at war.

Friday, November 19, 2010

It's cold and dark outside and I am bored with TV and reading and it's too early to go to bed and it's cold and dark. Every year I am surprised by the darkness and have to redesign my life to fit into the life in the dark.

I think it must be colder and darker in Minnesota where my siste is staying the winter.

Thursday, November 18, 2010

I have discovered another fabulous book, HOW TO LIVE, a life of Montaigne by Sarah Bakewell. It is part biography and part commentary on his essays. I am completely captivated by this book. Such a treat.

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Went to Super Cuts on Alvarado Street this morning to get my hair cut. It had been many months and I was looking pretty shaggy. Now I am trim and neat and my back is itchy with pieces of cut hair. I won't have to return until 2011.

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

From the dentist chair this morning I could see the Monterey Graveyard across El Estero Lake. I started thinking about the various relatives buried there and that I will be buried there too.

Death seemed easier to think about then the poking and scraping of my teeth.

Monday, November 15, 2010

Today I just felt discouraged. It is so difficult to walk. Will it ever become easier. The physical Therapist was kind and listened to my complaints and made some suggestions. I can start taking 5 minutes walks on an even surfaces.
It just takes a long time to heal one's body.

Sunday, November 14, 2010

Another beautiful day in Monterey. Sat at San Carlos Beach in my webbed chair overlooking the beach. Birds, kids, divers, boats. Sunday afternoon in the sun. Wish I could have walked more on the coast guard pier, maybe next week.

Saturday, November 13, 2010

Had a leisurely phone conversation with my sister in Minnesota. She was sitting in front of a fire watching the snow come down. I was sitting in my living room with the door wide open to let in the warm sunlight,

Went to the sports center this afternoon to do my bicycle riding. I wonder if it helps. I can't tell if I am getting better. I am enjoying my handicap card for my car.

Friday, November 12, 2010

The California Motor vehicles sent me my disabled plague for my car. I thought I would never get it. Next time I will listen to my brother and have AAA help me with it. Maybe there will be no next time. I am walking slowly today.