In my neighborhood the houses are dark tonight for Halloween. I wonder where the kids are. I have a bowl of candy by the front door.

It's mediocre candy, if I knew that I would have to eat it I would have bought a better kind. Next year only the best.

left home in the dark and drove to the Zendo for early morning sitting. The sitting space is actually an art gallery and this morning it was covered with tools, art works, paint as a new show is in the process of being hung. We put our cushions and chairs in various empty spots and sat.

Later we laughed at our selves as we accommodated to the mess.

We went for coffee and talked . We tried to not talk too much about politics today. We are a bit tired of the election stuff.

My car is really dirty. I am embarrassed with the dirt. At the gas station I cleaned the windows so from the inside it seemed ok. There is dirt caked on the roof and the sides.

The weather report says rain is coming this weekend, Maybe the rain will clean my car.

Went to Sweet Elana's and bought a pot pie for lunch. It was really good.

Took my morning walk at Del Monte Shopping Center, I stopped at Mervyns to see if there bargains on their going out of business sale. None. Then walked along the empty central promenade, beautiful gardens, vocal jazz, few people.

One woman left a store with a bag and I stare. She actually bought something. The only purchase I have seen this morning.

The sun is out

Feeling of doom everywhere.

We've started 6 Sunday morning classes today. As I was setting up I couldn't decide whether it was warm enough or too cool. I set out warm throws. I checked the wall thermometer.

Finally I turned on the heater and then I turned it off and then later I turned it back on and then off again.

Finally the sun came out and the room warmed itself up without my help.

Sitting at the end of the pier is a flat bed trailer loaded with a six foot pile of rope nets and orange and yellow buoys.

Swimming in the murky water of the inner harbor are tiny jelly fish.

There are empty parking places on main street on this warm Saturday late morning. It's much easier to jay walk today.

Where is everybody?

Another hot smoky October day in California. All day I could hear sirens from the local fire station. I am not sure what is going on.

Had to take away the magnifying glass from the eight year old boy. He learned that it could make smoke. He tried to convince me that he could not make fire. At some point I no longer believed him.

He just didn't know the power of heating up pine needles.

I am waiting for the rain.

A lone oyster catcher stands on the granite rocks at Carmel Point, calling out, bright orange beak, pink legs, black body, calling and calling.

Piles of decaying sea weed gather at the southern end of Carmel Beach. Dogs bury their noses in these smelly piles.

I'm waiting to pick up the 7 year old and the 8 year old from their drama classes at Pacific Rep.

Beautiful warm day, actually too warm for me but not too beautiful.

OK I voted, read the directions carefully, made single ink marks on the picks. Signed the documents, put enough stamps on and took it to the mail box.

Now I don't have to listen to anymore campaign information. the hardest choices were the local candidates.

But it is done and I feel a bit sad now.

driving on 68 to Pacific Grove at dusk. Ode to Joy (Beethoven's 9th) blasting on my speakers.

In the distance the huge cruise ship is gliding away from it's day stop in Monterey. Huge white ship bigger then anything on land and on the sea around it, but not bigger then The Ode to Joy.

Went on a two hour cruise on Elkhorn slough this morning with my sister. Sitting behind me was a man with two huge cameras taking pictures of the birds. One of the cameras was inches away from my head. I felt that he had invaded my personal space and said something but to no avail.

foggy cool morning, lots of birds, otters, sea lions, harbor seals, kayacks, and the camera inches from my face.

I was glad to spend the morning with my sister.

Zydeco dance was fabulous. Everyone danced. The Cachugua Playboys were loud and full of beat and wonderful, Did I have a great time. You bet. Everyone danced including me.

A woman in an apron came by during the dance and said desperately that she was on her ten minute break from the Sunset Center across the street. Could she just dance for ten minutes? She danced her heart out and then left to go back to her job.

The smoke is back today, hazy, brilliant sunrise, and now the smell of smoke. Still it is fire season. I don't know where the smoke is coming from.

Went shopping at Smart and Final to buy cookies and chips for our zydeco dance tonight. Still don't know if there will be 50 people of 200 so it is hard to figure out what to buy.

But I did it and now I don't have to think about it again.

I am sitting in my house trying to be invisible to the two 8 year old boys outside who are trying to make imitation human barf. They have just finished cleaning a dead jelly fish and now they are on a roll. I am barring the door so this does not end up in my house.

They are so intent on their work that they do not listen to reason, my reason.

Such excitement, real fake barf. what is better for an eight year old boy. It kind of turns my stomach.

unexpected heat wave this week. So hot. I went to take a morning walk but my right foot is sore so I went for coffee instead. I need to give my foot a rest. I have made a long list of things I need to do. Tonight I am going to watch the debate with a friend in my hot house.

Had an hour to fill so I pulled up to Lake Elestero parking lot. Sat in my webbed chair looking for some interesting birds.

All I saw were pigeons, mud hens, gulls and Canadian Geese, in and out of the pee green soupy lake. Cars were roaring by on Del Monte Ave.

It is usually such a beautiful place but today is was drab and faded. Maybe it's me.

My stock broker left a message on my answering machine while I was out. So this morning I reluctantly called him.

More bad news? no, he just want to see how I was doing during these tortuous days and did I want to make any changes in my portfolio.

No, I'm holding firm to this sinking ship and if for some reason the ocean rises I will rise with it. He laughed and said he agreed with my assessment. He said it has been torture for him the last couple of weeks. I agreed it has been difficult.

And the conversation is over and I will keep listening to the news.

The fund raiser for Bill Monning took place in a beautiful stone house overlooking Point Lobos. I sat at a table in the shade greeting people as they arrived, giving them name tags, accepting donations, making jokes about Home Land Security.

During quiet times I could see the ocean, the Pt. Lobos trails, the birds flitting from tree to tree.

How can can we lose. We are all so hopeful for our society to survive and be kinder and more skillful. What else could one wish for.

Several dozen men stand outside the lumberyard on River street waiting for work, to be chosen for day jobs. Gathered in small groups, leaning on the wall, talking with each other, silent, wearing work clothes, spread along the whole block.

I drive past on my way to SCZC. Do they all get work? Who hires them? Unless I stop and watch I wouldn't know. I drive on.

Brigh clear skies this morning, scrubbed clean by yesterday's winds. The mountains are clearly visible.

a cold wind blew through town and now sycamore leaves fill the gutters downtown. Our short lived fall.

Went to see THE DUCHESS at the Osio with a friend. It was interesting enough but I got distracted by the costumes and make up.

All I could think of is these folks need access to birth control and their lives would be better. And the women were constrained by not having any rights and not being able to vote.

I think I am caught by our current elections.

a fierce wind has come up this afternoon. the aluminum chairs have blown off my front porch. The back deck is covered in pine needles and branches. It's cool enough to close my windows. The sun is warming my front living room.

I am struggling with not being afraid as I listen to the news about the falling stock market. Is there an end to this story of economic disaster? Which chapter are we on? I'm OK I think or I'm not OK I think.

I met a friend at the Paris Bakery this morning. We meet here frequently. I go a little early so I can read the food and garden page in the newspapers and then pass them on to her to read. Today the New York Times was sold out by 8:20am. So I just read the Chronicle.

I read the food page every week and delight in the words describing different foods. I think that I will expand my cooking but within a couple of hours I have forgotten the resolve.

I have a few dishes I fix regularly and I fantasize about new cooking. She is a great cook and I want her to cook me new dishes.

Morning walk along the waterfront. Thick fog. Pigeons have learned to perch on the hostile roof. Their wings do not seem to get entangled in the stretched wires covering the surface.

Fishermen are pulling up sardines on their lines and dropping them on the wooden walkway. The fish struggle for a while and then become still. They are dropped into a white bucket filled with still fish.

The fog disperses and I am too warm. The sun is out and I start taking off my warm outer clothes.

cutting back a dead bush in the front while the kids are playing with the water hose I see that my hand is suddenly bloody.

Old skin is so thin. I didn't feel a thing. Need to get out my gardening gloves nest time I work in the garden.

The kids create a mud pond with the hose and stomp and dig around.

I wrap my hand in a cloth until the bleeding stops.

This morning I returned the chaplain beeper to the hospital. Early Sunday morning, very few people around. The outside side walk was wet and inside the shinny polished floor was dry.

My shoes squeaked with each step as I walked down the hall, echoing. I tried to walk quietly but it was not possible until the soles of my shoes were thoroughly dry. Then I could walk softly and blend into the building.

My neighbor at the corner has finished planting a dozen green plastic trees in her front yard, each about 3 feet high. I don't understand. This compliments her hundreds of glass wine bottles that are planted upside down around the edges of her yard.

If I ever saw her in the yard I might have the courage to ask her what she is thinking.

Picture -Jojo Whilden
Went to the post office with a stack of newsletters to mail at the Bulk mail desk. There was a person ahead of me and I had to wait twenty minutes.

I stood out on the loading dock, Peeked into dirty windows, checked out rolling containers filled with boxes and stuff. I paced back and forth.

Then it was my turn and the mail is now out. One less task on my long list of things to do.

I waited at the mid Valley coffee house for an hour, waiting for a friend to show up but she never came.

Later when I talked to her she said I had the wrong week.

The valley had that Fall light, the hills were gorgeous even with the smoke in the air.

Hurry up and wait, that is my life today.

Went shopping at Safeway on Forest Ave. Very few people in the store at noon, empty spaces on the shelves. Very little traffic around town. We are all waiting to see what happens next.

Gorgeous red sky at dawn, smoke form the raging fires in the mountains. All day the sky was filled with smoke. We a re waiting for the rain to start.