Tuesday, September 30, 2008

As I am waiting for the green light's permission to cross Del Monte Ave to go to the wharf I position myself behind the metal pole holding the street lights. I watch the cars speeding by, drivers drinking coffee, talking on cell phones, looking somewhere else. The pole will protect me if a car swerves in my direction.

Once again I do cross the six lanes of traffic, walking quickly as the countdown flashes on the signal.

Lot of smoke in the air from the new fire.

Monday, September 29, 2008

Spent the morning creating a flier about our zydeco dance benefit coming up to support Tassajara in it's efforts to recover from the fires this summer.

But I couldn't quite spell zydeco right. zyedco, zydaco, I would print out the page and sigh and go back to work. I sent it to Robert to proof it for me and finally I got the right spelling ZYDECO.

Another fire has started below Big Sur. We should be seeing the smoke soon. We are all waiting for the rains to start.

Sunday, September 28, 2008

Drove to Santa Cruz this morning, heat on, listening to the sound track of Chicago. I love the songs.

Low thick fog everywhere, little traffic. Stopped for a donut at Reds. I could have driven anywhere.

Saturday, September 27, 2008

The silence of the retreat was interrupted by the blasts of thunder from the performing airplanes high in the sky. You couldn't actually see the planes, only hear that they had been here. It's the air show in Salinas with hot shot pilots creating huge noise.

The day of silence went well. We sat, ate, listened to talks and then sat some more. Now I am home and want to watch movies.

Friday, September 26, 2008

After sleeping through another bank failure last night I thought maybe I should go check out my local bank. Is it still there?

Did Feds come in the middle of the night and take it. Do they have money, the big question. I went in at noon and I was the only customer.

The parking lot was empty. The teller was gracious and gave me all the money I asked for. I feel secure with a pocket full of cash.

This is all so confusing to me. What do people know that I don't know. Where is the wind blowing from?

Thursday, September 25, 2008

I had a knock out, drag out fight with my blankets last night. I was too hot and then I was chilled. I turned from one side to the other tangling my legs and arms in sheets and blankets.

When the alarm went off at 5am I looked up at the stars shinning through the sky light. I didn't want to extinguish them by turning on my light.

Eventually I had to get up and begin the day and the stars all disappeared and my bed was remade.

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Went to Safeways in Carmel to buy the 6 year old's birthday cake. I should now call her the 7 year old. She had very specific requests about this cake and I couldn't find exactly what she wanted so I bought what was there. I wonder how flexible this young lady will be.

On the way home I was following a very dirty station wagon, I couldn't tell what color it was. I assumed it had just come from Tassajara because that is how my car looks when I come back. I spun this fantasy for a while until I almost hit the car.

Back to reality, yep pay attention to the road.

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

I was up before dawn this morning. dawn is later and later with each day. If I insist on going to bed at 9, then I have to accept waking up in the dark.

Went to see BURN AFTER READING at the PG theater in an almost empty theater in the late afternoon. I couldn't get any of my friends to come with me. I think the movie might be better if there were more people in the building. It was good enough

Monday, September 22, 2008

I meet with a friend after sitting this morning. We meet at the bakery in Pacific Grove. I am now enchanted with their brioches and coffee.

The talk turns to Sarah Palin. What do I really think. My friend says he is terrified, she may start the next war by bombing Russia.

I'm not terrified, I am kind of interested in how this young woman is in this place. She is my kids age.

The best news is that we are becoming a second rate country with our new financial crises so maybe we don't have to go to war anymore.

I am not sure I have convinced my friend to give up his fear.

Sunday, September 21, 2008

We sit around the Zen Center library table. Four of us committed to meeting every week. And yet as we look at our date books we can't find dates that work for everyone. We are all too busy and unable or maybe unwilling to give up anything. We want to just add more and more to our lives.

I do the same. I want to do everything and yet my body gets tired and cranky and eventually finds a way to say no.

Saturday, September 20, 2008

The lobby of the hospital today was wet, buckets were collecting drips from the ceiling. A staff person said that water had accumulated on the roof and now was leaking. But we have had no rain for many months. it's a mystery. I walk around the buckets and wet rugs to get my job done.

Today I noticed the wonderful water color pictures on the walls, awash with blues and sky and clouds and hills. The art is donated and it is an honor to have one's work hung. Today I loved the art.

Thursday, September 18, 2008

Sitting in the lobby with it's large pond and fountains, skylights, koi fish, soft chairs, cafe, gift store, it is easy to forget that I am in a hospital until a white bed on wheels is rolled by with a person huddled under the blankets.

An orderly smoothly pushes the bed and the IV pole and equipment across the open space. We try not to stare at the person in the bed to support privacy in this very public community area. There is suffering in this place.
Sunny fall day, red sky in the morning before sitting at the Cherry Center. Spent several hours at the local hospital seeing sick people then came home and took a nap. The sun is still shinning, a little nip of coolness in the air.

I am committed to decreasing the amount of stuff I have in my rooms but not today, it's too beautiful.

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Early morning walk on waterfront. Men were gathered around the unloading dock. Something was wrong, The Sardines were half unloaded on the chute. I overheard something about the ice machine not working. Trucks, the large plastic containers, fish were all waiting for something to happen. I kept walking.

Twice this morning I saw people driving holding their cell phones to their ears. Haven't they heard it is illegal now to do that.

I feel like the cell phone police. I want them to stop right now.

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

I wonder through Targets this morning looking for some soap. Aisles and aisles of stuff. Too much stimulation, too many thing to look at. I buy more than I plan.

I rush out back to the safety of my car and turn on my CD Moma Mia and begin to sing the ABBA songs.

Somehow the music calms me down and I am ready for the next store I have to go to the next store on this early Tuesday morning day of shopping.

Monday, September 15, 2008

After listening to the bad economic news this afternoon I went outside and watered my drought resistant garden. Even these plants needed water. The fog was just returning. The 5pm bugle was playing at the Army base.

I dragged out the garbage cans for pick up tomorrow.

And then went inside to fix my dinner.

Everything seems so normal.

Sunday, September 14, 2008

Drove to Santa Cruz this morning in the fog. The land is so dry, The only color came form the dreaded ice plant that line the road.

Long lines of pelicans flew over Moss Landing Harbor.

Must be time for the migratory birds to start coming through.

The evenings are darker and cooler.

Saturday, September 13, 2008

I rang the first bell at 8:30 this morning for the half day sitting. I was by myself. Within 5 minutes several other people came in and we all sat together.

By noon, the sun was out and the air was warming up. Yep it was a good morning.

Friday, September 12, 2008

Another foggy day. Went to meet with a friend in the afternoon at the Works in Pacific Grove. We were going to write. Usually we meet in the mornings, 2pm in the afternoon, my body wants to lie down. But we did write for awhile and then we just sat around and talked to each other.

Thursday, September 11, 2008

I love the word Twitter, the social networking system among young people. I read the New York Times magazine article about Twitter and now I can't stop talking about it.

I think it is so clever. Answering the question, what are you doing right now. Right now I am typing on my key board and I am hungry.

I don't know anyone who twitters but now I am asking everyone I know, particularly parents of teen agers. But the parent don't seem to know if their kids twitter. Maybe I will find someone to talk to about this new communication tool.

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Went for a regular doctor's appointment to check on my meds and my blood tests. This is all familiar as I get older, monitoring, reminding me to take care of myself and basically I am healthy.

Waiting in the waiting room at the clinic I suddenly became afraid that I would catch something bad from the families waiting with me. Lots of little kids. They didn't look sick but I don't want to catch the latest pre school colds and flus.

So I found the bathroom and scrubbed my hands. And I kept my distance all the time scolding myself for being so fearful.

Tuesday, September 9, 2008

I just finished a book that I loved, Sue Miller's THE SENATOR'S WIFE. Its a novel that looks at long term marriages. It has a compelling story and I could hardly put it down.

Now I am restless because I can't find anything as good.

Monday, September 8, 2008

Driving along the Pacific Grove coast line I saw long rows of pelicans flying low to the water. Grey sky, grey water. The fog has finally come in.

I met my friends for lunch at eh golf grill. I had missed the last two lunches and was glad to see them again.

it was the usual talk about politics, movies, families, food, funny stories. I am so glad to be back.

Sunday, September 7, 2008

I didn't sleep well last night, My room was just too hot. This morning There was fog in the distance, hope for a break in the present heat wave.

My favorite food when I am hot is frozen grapes, I like the cold crunch in my teeth.

I lie on the couch complaining about the heat and wonder how the rest of the world handles hot weather.

Saturday, September 6, 2008

The eight year old and the six year old spent the night at my house. We watched a scary movie called Matilda. They kept saying it was not that scary but I thought it was. It had a happy ending, thank goodness.

Another hot day. windows and doors are open. Where is that fog I saw yesterday in the bay.

Thursday, September 4, 2008

another very hot day. At noon I went to the Cherry Center to meet with Robert about the October concert/dance benefit for Tassajara that we are sponsoring.

We tried to talk about the benefit but we kept drifting off to more interesting topics about our lives.

Maybe it was the heat.

Wednesday, September 3, 2008

Another great book to read. THE UNHEARD, a memoir of deafness and Africa by Josh Swiller. A Peace Corps memoir of Africa.

I never get tired of these memoirs of young people going to a poor foreign country and learning about themselves, their country and incidentally the country they are living in.

Tuesday, September 2, 2008

warm lazy day. I didn't mean to be lazy today but then the temperature rose to the high 80's and I just didn't want to do anything.

I did mail the box to New York with my daughters things that didn't fit in her suitcase.

I also went to Longs and started collecting items for my disaster first aid kit. I spent a long time looking at various first aid products. Still need to buy more.

Hope I never have to use it.

Monday, September 1, 2008

I am not sure how it all started but today, labor day we had our second annual neighborhood party. A chance for us all to get to know each other's names.

We see each other frequently but I didn't know the names. This time I took a pen and wrote down the names, yes you are my neighbor, good to talk to you again.

The young boys circled the gathering with their bikes. They obviously were living in a different party then the adults. parallel universes.