Thursday, October 15, 2026

     I am surprised to read that Pope Leo has lung cancer. I thought he might be exempt just like I think my doctors are exempt from getting sick or having accidents. It is that strange glitch in my mind that divides people into normal and special. Pope Leo is special and I am normal.

     A friend arrives with a take out salad from Elroys grocery. We eat and talk in the living room. I close the curtains to keep the room from heating up from the sun. Cold morning, warm afternoons.

     I tell my friend I want an in person support group for people with bladder cancer. It could be helpful for me to talk about my yucky cringy experiences with cancer.  I know they are out there.  I see them in the medical waiting rooms.  With out a structure and leadership the waiting rooms are silent.

     We watch the ending episode of LANTERNS. A good enough show.  But I am excited about THE SMALL PROPHETS series. I finish GHOST EYE and am very satisfied with this novel. I watch the news about the wars in Ukraine and in the Middle East. Bombing, killings, huge blasts and smoke and fire. I start wondering what it would be like here if the war arrives in my neighborhood. Let’s get the incompetent dangerous president and his friends out of politics.

 

Wednesday, October 14, 2026

     I always had good eye sight, well at least until I was in my mid 50’s when I started using store bought reading glasses. I expected to have good vision the rest of my life. Now I have distance glasses for TV watching and for driving. I have an astigmatism and without the glasses I frequently have double vision.

      My brain just hasn’t acclimated to using my distance glasses when I am walking.  With the distance glasses on I fear tripping and falling. I have become a hesitant walker and I am not sure what will help me. Time to check google to see if I am missing something.

     It is really cold in my bedroom in the morning and yet I like sitting in this old chair with my breakfast and doing my morning writing. My roommate encourages me to sit in the sunny half of the house. I resist.  I am not sure why.   Our kitchen counters are full of the garden tomatoes and vegetables, thanks to my master gardener roommate.

     We watch a new Apple plus show, THE SMALL PROPHETS, a surprisingly sweet, funny show. And of course we watch the fabulous next episode of SLOW HORSES, full of action and noise and danger. We are all nervous as we wait for the elections to be over, and new competent leaders emerge.

 

Tuesday, October 13, 2026

     The sun is out this morning but the house is really cold.  I am sitting in my chair covered with a blanket waiting for the sun to warm up the house. I still am reluctant to turn on my heater when in just a short time all the doors will be open to the warmth outside.

     I am ready for adventures. What does being healthy mean for me. Is 86 years old really too old, or am I just stuck in the role of the sick one. It is hard to tell if I just have low energy or scared to get out into the world.

     My former long term roommate and his partner visited on Saturday.  He is now a nurse. We never seem to run out of things to talk about, mostly medicine and work. My work is being a patient. His is to be a nurse.

    More TV watching in the evening. Finished EAST OF EDEN and THE MARBLE HALL MURDERS. We watch another episode of LUDWIG, my favorite funny show. No new books started, still in the middle of GHOST EYE. I couldn’t watch another news report from Rachel Maddow.  Too chipper and positive.  I want the news from Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert. I want to see the outrageous humor in our bumbling president and his friends.