Sunday, January 4, 2026

     Besides all the maintenance work for the 7 of us, food and eating, bathroom use, showers, who gets the comfortable couch and warm comforter, we had unexpected thoughtful honest conversations about our lives. These times remind me of how lucky I am to be a part of this family. I love my family. Of course, we also had times of hurt feelings, unexpected outbursts, and confusion.

     I keep evaluating these experiences as if they are unusual and deserved a grade. I forget that I am part of this mix. In the morning before the day really begins we hang out together with our coffee. I feel alive, ready to let go of all my medical stories.

     I search the news for more information about our incursion into Venezuela. Rains squalls batter the neighborhood. Everything is damp. Puddles, wind blowing. I struggle with the actions of our government. Nothing feels safe anymore.

     Started watching the Springsteen movie, nope not for me. I am loving the new memoir NEXT OF KIN by Gabrielle Hamilton.  She is such a good writer.

 

Saturday, January 3, 2026

     Walking on the deck in the late afternoon. Broken clouds in the blue sky.  Four hawks drift in circles over the neighborhood.  In the distance, Mount Toro is finally green. And the endless sounds of highway traffic. I pace back and forth wearing warm clothes. A few persistent cobwebs clinging to the corners of the deck railing.

     I want to write something smart and wise but nothing arises. Looking for some words that encapsule my life with my family. But it is just one thing after another. One more dirty dish, one more sweet conversation, one more glance at the vibrant young people sitting on the couch.

     I start watching LONG WAY DOWN, the silly motorcycle guys on a road trip in Africa. I challenge anyone to protest. This is my favorite show for calming down.  Why? Don’t know.

     I finished THE BLACK WOLF. Finally.  Not a satisfying read. I have some better books to read now. I continue to do my half hour of chair exercises in the late afternoon. Most days are one nap days. Don’t pick up the mail. Eat my meals on wheels food.  I love my family. All is ok here.

 

Friday, January 2, 2026

     In the early evening, we settle in the living room, build a fire and watch a movie. The New Yorkers work in the film industry. We have watched three movies, whose names escape me now. but the violent torture scenes stay with me. They have a cell phones in their hands distracting themselves from the film. I have no distraction to use. They are interested in the making of the film and I am caught up in the painful stories. It is not surprising that I have difficulty sleeping last night.

     The longer we visit together the clearer it is each person is different and charming in their own ways. We work hard to not antagonize each other, not to fall into old family habits. I resist offering advice or attempting to protect or solve their difficulties.  And of course, we each come with our own fears and struggles. I retreat into my room when I am tired.

     Another rainy cold day this morning. Winter surprises me each year. A stack of dishes waits for me in the kitchen.  I am glad to have a role in this holiday. I didn’t give any gifts this year but have received some unexpectedly.

     I continue to read Louise Penny’s latest book, THE BLACK WOLF. I can’t decide if is good or not, but I keep going.