Wednesday, July 8, 2026

     I watch a series of facebook videos with babies and birds playing together. The baby’s laughter is contagious and I am suddenly feeling happy too.  I feel content being with trees outside but I am deliriously happy with delighted babies.

     It is 62 degrees in my bedroom this morning. My hands are cold, actually my whole body is cold.  But I am holding out to not turn on the heater. My roommate doesn’t say anything. It is summer, it is July.  The day will warm up, most likely.

     Our household pipes are draining this morning. All is well here.  I am getting supplies ready for the next crises. When my house is running smoothly, I forget about maintenance and chaos. Today I am having lunch with friends.

    Last night we settle down to eat our diners, and watch the documentary, ANDRE IS AN IDIOT, a comedy about a middle aged man dying from colon cancer. He lives three years from diagnosis to death. The message is to get your colonoscopy now, don’t wait. He makes jokes throughout the show. Funny, maybe, lots of sadness. I watch how he lives with difficult treatments and frailty until death. I am looking for role models for dying.

 

Tuesday, July 7, 2026

     I just poured a bottle of Green Gobler drain clearer into the bathroom sink.  Last night the kitchen sink would not drain and the kitchen water over flowed into the bathroom sink. We stop using any of the drains. Now I am waiting to see if the drain clears.

     But I spent most of the night entangled in disaster fears.  What If I can’t find a plumber. What about the toilets and I fell into imagining all kinds of disasters.  I tell myself I am too old to solve this problem.  My house is too old.  My kids are too old. All my friends are too old. On and on.

     And yet by morning I have a plan.  I watch videos of clogged sinks and confident women saying you can do this. The directions for green gobbler is to let it sit for 15 minutes or overnight. No clear directions here. My somewhat not young but very energetic roommate has a plan also.  She gets the kitchen sink and I stick with the bathroom sink. We may have to pick up more drain clearing medicine.

     Before the evening crises I watch the second season of ELLIS, another British detective living in a small charming town where murders happen. And I continue to read THIS IS NOT ABOUT US by Allegra Goodman. Now, I am sitting in my cold bedroom wearing my green puffer jacket, waiting for the drain to clear.

 

Monday, July 6, 2026  

     Two crows are back. Black birds with loud voices and intense eyes checking out the neighborhood.  Years ago when we had a permanent puddle at the bottom of the neighbor’s yard, a whole flock of crows would arrive in the morning and stay the day.  And then the water dried up and the crows were gone.

     The best part of the Sunday NYT’s paper is the book review section. I search for gems. I don’t read the full review, just enough to see if I would like the book. The new paperback books are usually available in the library. The hard back books take months before the library decides to order them. I can never read all the books.  I am never satisfied.

     There is frustration in reading the book reviews. Too many books, and I will miss something really important, some message or story that can open up the world for me.

     I am reading Allegra Goodman’s new novel THIS IS NOT ABOUT YOU, a family story about surviving and dying. So far so good. And in the evening, we watch two more episodes of SUGAR, a confusing good story of an alien detective finding lost people. I like strange detectives, such as THE SHEEP DETECTIVES.